Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believes that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal academic learning. I largely agree with this view because excessive academic pressure on students leads to the lack of children's creativity and social development ,however i also believe that structured learning should be the prioritized rather than replacing it.

to begin with ,there are several reasons that schools focus more on formal academics for making students more calculative to compete with the tests and memorising the curriculum over the period.for Instance the childrens who focuses more in mathematics and practises excessive problems it remains them to think only on high grade and academic competition rather than the practical analysis .

This is the reason that academic learning are more habituated to students by the schools. Furthermore play should have an important role in primary education which develops the communication and cooperation in between the peers then helps them to identify their interests out of the curriculum. secondly practical education is the essential over mental and physical development of young children's. For instance few students are fascinated to play games like physical curriculum activities which desire his interest in that field similarly demonstrating the area of interest .

ultimately ,i agree that some primary schools are teaching more on academic learnings rather than the focusing children's over all development. However ,formal education is still necessary but is should not exceed the limits which effects the children's growth and development it has to balance academic learning supported by play ,creativity and social achievements .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the explanation of why schools focus on academics is repetitive, and the examples provided (such as 'mathematics and practises excessive problems') are slightly vague and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, well-supported arguments that fully explore the implications of your position rather than restating the same points in different ways.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'This is the reason that...' and 'secondly practical education is the essential...' do not flow naturally. There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing spaces after commas and periods, which disrupts the flow of the text. While there is a clear overall progression, the transitions between sentences and paragraphs need to be more sophisticated and varied to improve the logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic terms like 'formal academic learning' and 'practical education' repeatedly. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'making students more calculative' and 'academic learning are more habituated to students'. Some errors, such as 'the childrens who focuses', indicate a lack of control over word forms. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Some people believes', 'academic learning are'), incorrect pluralisation ('the childrens'), and misuse of articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and missing spaces after punctuation marks. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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