Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Several people debate that education provided to the younger generation, specifically children in primary school, is directed significantly towards a formal way of learning in a bad way. I agree with this statement because young adolescents have not developed the kind of mindset to comfortably understand formal learning. Introducing hands on activities for children to play while learning is crucial in making them learn more efficiently.

Many children find it difficult to gain education in strict environments which follow a formal learning style. This is because children tend to have an immature brain when they are stepping into the world of education for the first time. This causes them to act repulsive or insecure by getting intimidated by the harsh environment. For example, schools in Pakistan used this way of teaching in the sixties which caused children to lose their confidence and gain insecurities early on in their life.

Children require hands on activities in their starting years of education in order to open up their minds before getting familiar with the rigorous learning process. Specifically, this will help ease the tense situation the children are in and help lift their moral. These activates may consist of indulging the kids to take part in playfull experiments or interactive playing cards to learn. For example, many primary schools in Pakistan require kids to play games like stacking blocks to learn counting or mimic drawings of cultural days to make them learn better.

In conclusion, children should never face the harsh formal learning process because they do not have the capacity to learn at such levels at this point of life. Subsequently, they should take part in certain activities which help them learn while having fun.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your agreement with the focus on formal learning and the importance of play. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, while you mention that children have an 'immature brain,' this point could be expanded with more psychological or educational reasoning to reach a higher band. The examples provided, such as the reference to schools in Pakistan, are relevant but could be more effectively integrated to support your argument. To improve, ensure that each paragraph provides a deeper exploration of the 'why' behind your claims rather than just stating them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Specifically,' 'For example,' and 'In conclusion,' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. For example, the transition between the first and second paragraph is a bit abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'this way of teaching' which could be more explicitly linked to the previous sentence. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'rigorous,' 'intimidated,' and 'efficiently.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that slightly hinder the precision of your writing. For example, 'act repulsive' is not a standard collocation in this context, and 'lift their moral' should be 'lift their morale.' You also use 'young adolescents' to describe primary school children, which is technically inaccurate as adolescents are older. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. For instance, 'Several people debate that...' is slightly awkward; 'argue' or 'contend' would be better. You also have issues with subject-verb agreement and word forms, such as 'activates' instead of 'activities' and 'playfull' which is misspelled. Some sentences are slightly disjointed due to these errors. To improve, focus on proofreading for common slips and practice using more complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses or passive voice, with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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