Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some group of individuals believe that, primary schools more concentrate on children's education rather than playing games. I partially agree with this statement because sports or playing games also important for children . I will discuss my point of view in following paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are multiple reasons why schools should focus more on children education. The first and foremost, education plays crucial role in children's life and their career prospects. In other words , children learn various things in primary schools such as moral values, respect to the older people and so on. Additionally, primary schools education teach to the children different t subjects like Maths, English and important subject so, children can learn various kinds of subjects and gain their knowledge in specific subject. As a result, children can obtain high score in their exams and brighter their future.

On the other hand , playing games or sports activities also play significant role in children's life because they can reduce their stress and also they can concentrate more on their studies. Moreover, sports activities and different types of games in classrooms create strong bond between peers and classmates because they can share their own ideas and opinion among other children. Furthermore, playing games enhance children's fitness because they enjoy and relieve their stress. For example, in Canada, a majority of primary schools provide primary education as well as sports activities for the children.

In conclusion, as per my perspective, both primary education and sports are equally important for the children because their career and their health so, schools should provide both for the children, which is necessary for them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the argument for formal education focuses on 'moral values' and 'subjects' without exploring the potential downsides of an over-emphasis on formal learning, which the prompt specifically asks about. The explanation of why play is important is better developed, but the overall response remains at a fairly general level. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, nuanced examples and ensure that all parts of the prompt are explored with equal depth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'their career and their health so, schools should provide both'. The flow between sentences is generally smooth, but the connection between ideas within paragraphs could be more sophisticated. The use of paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'career prospects', 'moral values', and 'significant role', but there is a reliance on basic vocabulary and some awkward collocations, such as 'brighter their future' (should be 'brighten their future') and 'more concentrate' (should be 'concentrate more'). There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'Some group of individuals' instead of 'Some groups of individuals'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles (e.g., 'the older people', 'the children'), subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage (e.g., 'teach to the children'). Some sentences are slightly ungrammatical, such as 'sports or playing games also important for children' (missing 'are'). While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain errors that slightly impede the flow. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammar and refining the use of articles would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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