Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
A Majority of individuals believed that primary schools concentrate too much on goal oriented learning. I completely agree with this notion and I will explain my viewpoint regarding this nation in upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with the point which are in favour of aforementioned statement, the first and foremost point is
Furthermore, it is crucial to recognise that blending educational lessons with play can facilitate an organic learning for pupils. Moreover,schools should prioritize outdoor playtime with natural sciences as this fosters a deeper understanding of ecosystem concepts. For example, first grade students in Singapore haave the opportunity to explore local rivers to study the life cycles of the amphibians such as frogs. This, the incorporation of both formal and informal methods Directly supports a more inclusive and comprehensive education approach.
In conclusion, it is clear that adopting a balanced curriculum can significant benefits children's education from multiple perspectives. Schools must consider the value of integrating diverse learning opportunities to enhance the educational experience.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 163 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state your position clearly in the introduction, the body paragraphs are severely underdeveloped. The first body paragraph is incomplete, consisting only of a sentence fragment, and the overall argument lacks the depth and supporting evidence required for a higher band. To improve, you must ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed with fully developed arguments and sufficient supporting examples, ensuring the essay reaches the required length.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear logical progression due to the incomplete structure. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', the overall flow is disrupted by the missing content in the first body paragraph. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of substance makes the essay feel disjointed. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting points and a concluding thought. Avoid leaving sentences unfinished, as this breaks the logical flow of your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, with terms like 'goal oriented learning', 'facilitate', and 'comprehensive education approach'. However, there are some errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'haave' and the misuse of 'nation' instead of 'notion'. The range of vocabulary is limited by the brevity of the response. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure accurate spelling throughout your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors. For example, 'A Majority of individuals believed' should be 'believe' (tense consistency), and 'the point which are in favour' should be 'the points which are in favour'. There are also issues with punctuation and sentence fragments. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and proofread your work to ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically sound.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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