Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

While it is widely argued by some that the elementary schools has devoted too much time on academic and formal learning, others might claim that letting children play is as crucial as learning.

I firmly agree that the primary-school student should spend their times on outside-knowledge rather than learning in school-academic subjects, and the reason will elaborate in this essay.

To begin with, it might seem reasonable for some people to hold the belief that a child should be schooled only by school and only by the actual academic knowledge. This might due to how they used to spend their childhood in school, and only allowed to do the indoor-study without any kinds of entertainment, for someone who had a childhood like that, it seemed so rational for them to believe that what they used to do is the most beneficial way.

On the other hand, I would personally argue that keeping the children away from things that they deserve is not the right approach to discipline the children. Not only the academic subjects are vital, but the others kind of learning are matter too. In distance, there are some study about the elevated school in Netherland, they has started to do something unfamiliar with the other school, by let they students learn for just a short period of the day; then let them learn from things outside the classroom, especially to play a game or play with their peers; as a result, not only a child can be learned about things which is essential for them in the future, but they also learning how to approach with other children and that might foster to be a communication skill in their life.

In conclusion, although it is undeniable that learning from school and learning about a academic subject is extremely important, I’m of the opinion that we should teach a child in different skills and various ways, including playing with entertainment tools or their friends.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position and discussing the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the Dutch school example, the explanation of how this benefits children is slightly vague and repetitive. The argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples of how 'play' translates into cognitive or social development. The introduction is a bit repetitive, and the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the balance between formal learning and play, rather than suggesting a complete shift away from academic subjects.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In distance, there are some study'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second body paragraph where the connection between the Dutch school example and the broader argument about communication skills could be more tightly linked. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body, and conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'outside-knowledge', 'school-academic subjects', and 'approach with other children'. You rely on basic descriptors like 'vital' and 'important' rather than more sophisticated academic vocabulary. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of flexibility and the presence of errors in collocation prevent a higher score. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to education would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently struggle with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'elementary schools has devoted', 'they has started', and 'a academic subject'. There are also issues with sentence construction, such as 'this might due to' (missing 'be') and 'let they students learn' (incorrect pronoun). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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