Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

While it is widely argued by some that elementary schools devote too much time to academic and formal learning, others might claim that letting children play is as crucial as learning.

I firmly agree that primary school students should spend their time on outside knowledge rather than learning school academic subjects, and the reasons will be elaborated in this essay.

To begin with, it might seem reasonable for some people to hold the belief that a child should be schooled only in school and only in academic knowledge. This might be due to how they used to spend their childhood in school, and were only allowed to do indoor study without any kind of entertainment, for someone who had a childhood like that, it seemed so rational for them to believe that what they used to do was the most beneficial way.

On the other hand, I would personally argue that keeping the children away from things that they deserve is not the right approach to discipline the children. Not only are academic subjects vital, but other kinds of learning matter too. In distance, there are some study about the elevated school in Netherland, they have started to do something unfamiliar with the other schools, by letting their students learn for just a short period of the day; then, let them learn from things outside the classroom, especially to play a game or play with their peers; as a result, not only a child can be learned about things which is essential for them in the future, but they also learning how to approach with other children and that might foster to be a communication skill in their life.

In conclusion, although it is undeniable that learning from school and learning about an academic subject is extremely important, I think that we should teach a child different skills and various ways, including playing with entertainment tools or their friends.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

You have addressed both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position and discussing the importance of play. However, the development of your ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the benefits of play, such as communication skills, the argument remains quite general. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, well-developed examples or deeper analysis of why play is essential for cognitive or social development. Your position is consistent, but the essay would benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the balance between formal learning and play, rather than suggesting students should spend time on 'outside knowledge' instead of academic subjects.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'In distance, there are some study'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'academic subjects', 'discipline', and 'foster'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'outside knowledge', 'do something unfamiliar with the other schools', and 'learning how to approach with other children'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. Avoid repetitive phrasing and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas with greater precision and variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow. Examples include 'not only a child can be learned about things', 'that might foster to be a communication skill', and 'there are some study'. These errors involve passive voice construction, preposition usage, and subject-verb agreement. While these mistakes do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that your complex sentence structures are formed correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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