Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The format of teaching primary schools has been a debatable concept over the centuries. Certain number of individuals argued that primary schools are keen on formal learning. In my perspective, I firmly disagree with this statement because headteachers include some aspect of informal learning such as singing, dancing, playing in their school curriculums. It is very much significance for children to play and learn in the classroom because it allows them to develop confidence in the classroom with their teachers and peers.

To start with, one of the reasons why I totally disagreed with the above statement is that many primary schools have extracurricular activities in their school calendar. In many primary schools around the world schools heads in-cooperate activities such as singing and dancing in their school term for school going pupils this is largely because kindergarten often finds it difficult to cope with formal learning to comprehend concepts. Most often their teachers will use informal format such as singing the alphabets or numbers so that they can retain them in their memory. Understanding as a result, may be achieved along the way and they will implement the same thing while they are studying at home. Therefore, I largely disagree with this statement of primary schools rely solely on professional learning.

Learning and playing are very much vital in everyday learning of children in lower education (primary schools). The reasons why I take this side of the argument is that it develops their confidence among their teachers and peers. Many children often finds it demanding in relating with their teachers especially meeting them for the very first time, so the only way they can be at their ease is by implementing strategies such as drama or story telling while teaching them. This often broaden their horizon and developed confidence in them.

Conclusively, although many people believes that, primary schools focus mainly on formal learning, I am totally against this sentiment because of the many extracurricular activities such as singing, playing and dancing that head teachers include in their school time table's, which often mitigate lack of concentration and fairness between teachers and the pupils. Playing and learning serve as a catalyst in improving the professionally wellbeing of kindergarten as it develops confidence and build enthusiastic mindset towards their learning process. Therefore it is crucial to use both method for children in their learning process.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed both parts of the prompt: your stance on the focus of primary schools and the importance of play. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, you mention singing and dancing in multiple paragraphs as the primary evidence for informal learning. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the pedagogical benefits of play beyond just 'confidence,' perhaps discussing cognitive development or social-emotional learning. While the ideas are relevant, they lack the depth and variety required for a higher score. Ensure you fully explore the 'extent' of your agreement rather than just listing examples of activities.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To start with,' 'Therefore,' and 'Conclusively' to link your points. However, some of the transitions feel mechanical or slightly forced. Additionally, there are issues with referencing and sentence-level cohesion; for example, the phrase 'Understanding as a result, may be achieved' is awkward and disrupts the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be improved by ensuring each sentence builds more naturally upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'extracurricular activities,' 'mitigate,' and 'catalyst.' However, there are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation errors that hinder precision. Examples include 'in-cooperate' (should be 'incorporate'), 'professional learning' (used incorrectly in context), and 'professionally wellbeing' (should be 'professional well-being'). While your meaning is generally clear, these errors indicate a lack of control over more sophisticated vocabulary. To improve, focus on learning the correct collocations for academic writing and proofreading for word-form errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Subject-verb agreement is a recurring issue, such as 'Many children often finds it demanding' (should be 'find') and 'many people believes' (should be 'believe'). There are also punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary apostrophe in 'time table's.' While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To achieve a higher band, you need to increase the frequency of error-free sentences and pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules like subject-verb agreement and pluralization.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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