Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that primary schools are only focus on formal learning and do nothing in curricular activities. I believe this is not a good practice. It is very important for children to play games in school or learn different kinds of sports. I will discuss reasons and my thoughts in coming paragraphs why children take part in extra activities rather than only focus on studies.

On the one hand some schools are only focuses on formal learning and do not allow their student to play some games and sports thinks that children distracts from their studies. In my opinion children in their school need to take part in such activities as this is important for their overall growth and their piece of mind. Many professional sportsman and gamer play their game from school level. For example if someone plays video games since their childhood and pro in it they can compete in so many tournaments and represent their country where many players come from all over the world and it will be a proud moment if they bring trophy and medal by winning it for their country.

On the other hand formal learning is very important part. Some students put their all focus on playing games as this can affect their academic result very badly. They need to put effort and focus on their study too not only focus on playing games and sports. For instance schools should arrange extra curricular activities for their students and also students should pay attention to their studies as well.

In conclusion that children feel so much pressure by only do focus on their formal learning. Schools should arrange some shows and function to entertain their students as they give them relaxation and some piece of mind ahead their studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument regarding professional gamers is a bit narrow and does not fully explore the broader educational benefits of play, such as social skills or cognitive development. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and academic rigor. To improve, you should provide more comprehensive reasons and specific, relevant examples that directly relate to the primary school context.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used, but the internal flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. For instance, the transition between the discussion of professional gamers and the importance of academic results is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'do nothing', 'good practice', and 'very important'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'piece of mind' (which should be 'peace of mind') and 'pro in it'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions that are appropriate for an academic context, while ensuring that word choices are accurate and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede readability. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('schools are only focuses', 'children distracts'), incorrect verb forms ('only do focus'), and missing articles. While you attempt some complex sentence structures, they are often marred by these errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of auxiliary verbs. Proofreading for these common errors will help you achieve a higher level of accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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