Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is argue that attention toward academic subjects in primary schools play activities such as music, games. I agree with is notion. I will discuss in the subsequent paragraphs about importance of play along with study. Also I will give reasons and relevant examples.
There are ample benefits to children to take participate in other co-curricular activities. To begin with, learners can build confidence as they go through numerous different activities. Moreover, they can feel refresh as these subjects are interesting enormous. Therefore, scholars get immense concentration on subjects and it would broaden their horizon. As they would be all walks of life. Tender age is effective to teach innovative subjects like music owing to they can learn accurately and effectively.
Furthermore, subjects like games play crucial role because stamina will be build through these activities. Problems like obesity, laziness can be less feasible in life. What is more, child find their hobby and work on it fo
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it is only 158 words long and ends abruptly mid-sentence. Consequently, the task is not fully addressed, and the ideas are significantly underdeveloped. While the student attempts to state a position and introduce arguments regarding the importance of play, the lack of completion prevents a full exploration of the prompt. To improve, you must ensure you provide a complete essay with a clear introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You need to expand on your points with specific examples and logical explanations to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay shows some attempt at logical organization through the use of linking words like 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore'. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is present, but the abrupt ending disrupts the overall flow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'as they would be all walks of life', which lacks a clear antecedent. To improve, focus on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are connected smoothly using a wider variety of cohesive devices, while ensuring the essay is brought to a logical conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'It is argue' (should be 'It is argued') and 'feel refresh' (should be 'feel refreshed'). The phrase 'subjects are interesting enormous' is also unclear and non-standard. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of precision and the limited range of vocabulary prevent a higher score. To improve, try to learn collocations in context and avoid using basic adjectives like 'interesting' or 'good' by substituting them with more descriptive and precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'It is argue', 'take participate', 'stamina will be build', and 'child find their hobby'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the existing sentences are often simple or contain errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the passive voice. Practicing the use of complex sentences with subordinate clauses will also help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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