Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

One section of society thinks that elementary schools focus too much on academic learning, while others oppose it. To a large extent, I agree with this statement and will discuss the viewpoints in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, outdoor activities should be taught in primary school. To elaborate, outdoor activities such as football and cricket help children to relax their minds and think more broader with a fresh mind because continue studing for long time distracts the students and results in headache. Moreover, students can also make their career in such fields and earn good money, sportsmen's income is generally more than jobs men. For example, A survey was conducted in the USA which showed that children who learned sports in their early age are mostly selected in the national teams as compared to other students.

On the other hand, education plays a crucial role in children life because with the help of education, nowadays most of the students get a chance to work in multinational companies like Amazon, Apple etcectra. Teachers teach basic manners to kids like how to communicate and respect others without education they can not survive in society. They will not know how to calculate the price of good when they for shopping and do any deals in future related to their work.

To conclude, both things have their own values eduaction and sports activities should be the primary focus in the primary school, so students do not face any problems related to their career in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is uneven. While the argument for sports is introduced, the supporting points—such as the claim that sportsmen earn more than 'jobs men'—are underdeveloped and lack logical depth. The discussion on formal education is also somewhat simplistic, focusing on basic utility rather than the broader pedagogical debate. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced arguments and ensure that your examples are more relevant and sophisticated. The position is clear, but the overall depth of analysis is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand', to signal transitions. However, some of these transitions feel mechanical, and the internal cohesion within paragraphs is occasionally weak. For instance, the jump from discussing sports to the example of a survey in the USA lacks a smooth connection. Additionally, the concluding sentence is slightly disjointed from the preceding arguments. Improving the variety and natural flow of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'jobs men' instead of 'professionals' or 'employees', and 'calculate the price of good' instead of 'calculate the price of goods'. The use of 'etcectra' is informal and contains a spelling error. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the overall lexical range is limited, and there is a reliance on basic, repetitive language. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic collocations would be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'think more broader' (should be 'think more broadly'), 'continue studing' (should be 'continuing to study'), and 'in children life' (should be 'in children's lives'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices and missing articles. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and refining your control over complex sentence structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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