Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Stepping into the golden era of unbelievable and outstanding achievement, the new 21st century has also witnessed a considerable change in the trends of teaching methodologies at the primary level. Strata of folks have the opinion that primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning. It has become a debatable issue, but I vehemently favour this argument.

At the outset, there are some people who hold the view that primary school education focuses mainly on just the formal aspects of learning. To substantiate, elementary education now only gives attention to completing the curriculum and giving assignments to students. Another coherent factor which can not be neglected is that the number of periods for academic teaching have been increased in primary schools at the cost of vocational education periods. To uphold my opinion, I would quote the instance from my second grade when Physical Education was removed as a subject in my school to add an extra period for mathematics.

However, others condemn it by saying that schools should focus on formal education only. They believe that children can indulge in physical activities after school by playing with their neighbours in locality parks. In their opinion, games periods in primary schools do not hold much significance and can rather cause injuries to kids due to accidents while playing.

In order to throw light upon my view, I would like to assert that, schools are the temples of learning. This learning goes beyond what is learnt from textbooks. Play time in primary school is an indispensable part of a child's life. It provides children a chance to stay physically active and is crucial for their mental, emotional and cognitive development. In addition, playing with their peers would teach them teamwork, team-spirit and cooperation.

To recapitulate, "every coin has two sides", in the same way, this issue also has both aspects having individual value and neither of them can be stated wrong but still, in my perception, it is true that schools give greater importance to formal learning which is a great matter of concern as it threatens the overall development of children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are well-developed, particularly the argument regarding the holistic benefits of play (cognitive, emotional, and social development). The personal example of the removal of Physical Education adds relevant support. While the discussion of the opposing view is slightly brief, it is sufficient to demonstrate a balanced approach. The response effectively answers the 'to what extent' component by consistently advocating for a more balanced curriculum.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the opposing view and the author's own perspective is smooth. Cohesive devices such as 'To substantiate', 'Another coherent factor', and 'In order to throw light upon' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, some transitions, like 'To recapitulate', are slightly formulaic. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments, ensuring the essay is easy to follow. The referencing is generally clear, though the flow could be slightly more natural in the transition between the second and third paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'vehemently favour', 'indispensable part', and 'cognitive development' show an attempt to use more sophisticated language. There are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'Strata of folks' (which sounds unnatural) and 'condemn it by saying' (where 'oppose' or 'counter' would be more appropriate). Despite these occasional inaccuracies, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and does not impede communication. The student shows a good awareness of academic style, though some expressions are slightly over-embellished.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over punctuation and sentence construction, with few errors that impede meaning. Examples of complex structures include 'Another coherent factor which can not be neglected is that...' and 'It provides children a chance to stay physically active and is crucial for their...'. While there are occasional minor errors, such as 'the number of periods... have been increased' (subject-verb agreement error with 'number'), the majority of sentences are error-free. The grammatical control is consistent, supporting the overall clarity of the argument.

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