Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays, many people believe that primary schools give too much importance to formal subjects and classroom study. i totally agree with this statement, in my opinion Children need time to play, play develops social skills and play improves creativity and problem-solving. Play supports physical and mental health.

to start with, young children cannot concentrate on lessons for many hours. Play gives them a break and helps them return to class with more energy. children need to learn how to communicate and cooperate with others. Group games teach them to share, take turns, follow rule, and solve disagreements. for example, after playing outside, children may pay better attention during reading or mathematics lessons. when children pay a team game, they learn how to cooperate and support their classmates. therefore, it is evident that this views apt.

Furthermore, Children learn effectively when they can explore and use their imagination. building blocks, drawing, role-play, and puzzles encourage them to think independently. regular physical activity keeps children healthy and reduces stress. Outdoor games help children develop strength and enjoyable activities make school less stressful. for instance, children who build a model with blocks must decide how to design it and solve problems when it falls down. running, cycling, or playing football can improve children fitness and help them feel happier.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools often place too much emphasis on formal learning, although reading, writing, and mathematics are important, play is equally necessary because it improves children's social skills, creativity, health, and ability to learn. Therefore, primary schools should create a balanced timetable that includes both lessons and regular play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by clearly stating your position on formal learning and explaining the importance of play. Your ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as building blocks and team games. To reach a higher band, ensure your arguments are more deeply extended. For instance, while you mention that play improves social skills, you could further elaborate on how these skills translate into long-term academic success. The position is clear throughout, and the response is well-focused on the topic, demonstrating a good understanding of the requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices like 'to start with', 'furthermore', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with punctuation and capitalization that occasionally disrupt the flow. For example, the start of sentences often lacks capital letters (e.g., 'i totally agree', 'children need to learn'). Improving the variety of cohesive links and ensuring consistent paragraph structure would help achieve a higher score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cooperate', 'independently', and 'balanced timetable'. There are some instances of repetitive word choice, such as the frequent use of 'play' and 'children'. To improve, try to incorporate more synonyms or related academic collocations (e.g., 'recreational activities', 'pedagogical approach', 'holistic development'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'children who build a model with blocks must decide how to design it'. However, there are frequent errors in punctuation, capitalization, and minor grammatical slips, such as 'follow rule' (should be 'rules') and 'this views apt' (should be 'this view is apt'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and proofreading for basic mechanical errors like missing capital letters at the start of sentences.

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