Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people believe that there is too much work on formal learning in primary schools and I strongly argue with this opinion because the much of burden is put on the primary students and no co-curricular activities perform in the schools.
In our country, the schooling system is very different from the other countries of the world, school focuses too much on formal learning at the primary level. Students have to do a lot of work in the classroom and other activities like class tests, exams and presentations. After returning home, they do a lot of homework and learnt their lesson which has negative effect on the children's mental and physical health. The on reason is that they have to perform a lot of work and they have no spare time to do other activities such as playing games, watching movies and dramas, and going to parks and cinemas.
The authority should take decisive steps to mitigate these issues and also force schools to focus on co-curricular activities. Co-curricular activities are also important for the students for their mental and physical health. These activities are very helpful for them and learn a lot about their life and increase their confidence and improve their communication skills. The lesson learnt in the classroom do not work in the practical life as compared to the lesson learnt in the playground.
In conclusion, co-curricular activities is also important with the formal learning because with these activities students perform well in the study and achieve their desire grades.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is limited. While you clearly state your position, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, you mention that formal learning has a 'negative effect on mental and physical health' but do not provide specific examples or evidence to support this claim beyond listing activities children miss out on. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the points made. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph provides a clear, well-supported argument that directly answers the 'to what extent' and 'how important' components of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'The on reason is that' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Transitions between ideas are often abrupt, such as the jump from the negative effects of homework to the suggestion that authorities should take action. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' 'in addition to') would help create a smoother progression of ideas throughout the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'do a lot of work' and 'learn a lot about their life.' There are also some minor errors in word choice, such as 'perform' instead of 'take place' when referring to activities. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development, which will help convey your ideas with greater sophistication and clarity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'no co-curricular activities perform in the schools' (passive voice error) and 'the lesson learnt in the classroom do not work' (subject-verb agreement error). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and sentence construction, such as 'the on reason.' While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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