Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued by some that primary schools in our country pay too much attention on formal learning rather than paying attention towards the sports pursuits.

Both my opinion and the importance of sports will be discussed in this essay with a suitable conclusion.

Some people think that the primary schools in our country have too much structured planning which is beneficial for the students. In fact, everything in an organized manner depicts the excellent schedule of any school. I am agree with this term because this formal learning has positive effects on the personality of the children. A prime instance, if one student follows the proper timetable in his school then he will also try to follow this routine at home then this routine also has more punctual effects on this child.

On the other hand, It is a very vital for the students to playing and learning at the same time. The reason behind this, sports are very necessary for their mental or physical health and also have positive attitudes on their overall well being. The schools should organize meetings and awareness which push students towards the sports activities. Besides that, I think their health is more important than their education. So, the parents should pay attention to their health and schools should pay attention towards their studies because these 2 things have parallel importance for them.

In a nutshell, formal education is crucial for our children on the primary schools level. Discipline and organization skills are very important for them and they acquire this with the help of formal learning. At the same time, playing activities are necessary for their health and also for the better performance in education.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you argue that formal learning builds discipline, the explanation is repetitive and lacks depth. Similarly, the section on the importance of play is a bit generic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or nuanced reasoning, such as how play fosters social skills or creativity, rather than just stating it is 'necessary for health'. Your position is clear, but the supporting arguments need more elaboration to be fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'In a nutshell', to signal transitions. However, some of the linking is mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences feels slightly disjointed, such as in the third paragraph where the connection between 'timetable' and 'punctual effects' is a bit unclear. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'structured planning', 'physical health', and 'overall well-being'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in collocation and word choice, such as 'I am agree with this term' (should be 'I agree with this view') and 'punctual effects' (which is not a standard collocation). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that word combinations sound natural to a native speaker.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'pay too much attention on' (should be 'to'), 'It is a very vital for the students to playing' (should be 'It is vital for students to play'), and 'on the primary schools level' (should be 'at the primary school level'). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent communication. To achieve a higher score, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that verb forms following 'to' are consistent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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