Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
There is a worldwide debate whether schools first prioritize formal learning. I partially agree with this statement because play as important as study for a child cognitive, social and behavior progress.
Admitedly, Formal study ensure a student better career opppurtunities. Moreover, best education play a holistic role in a student life. For intance, education foster confidence and best version of an individual. Through, valid qualification , a studenat can empower himself with unparalel career, buisness, or modern technology- ensure a nations progress.
Although there is no comparsion between sports and education but sports play a vital role to shape a developed nation
Virtually every child, the world over, plays. The drive to play is so intense that children will do so in any circumstances, for instance when they have no real toys, or when parents do not actively encourage the behavior. In the eyes of a young child, running, pretending, and building are fun. Researchers and educators know that these playful activities benefit the development of the whole child across social, cognitive, physical, and emotional domains. Indeed, play is such an instrumental component to healthy child development that the United Nation High Commission on Human Rights (1989) recognized play as a fundamental right of every child.
In coclusion, playing and education play virtually a role in a student life
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt, the discussion is underdeveloped. The arguments regarding formal learning are brief, and the section on play relies heavily on a quoted paragraph rather than your own analytical writing. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and ensure the essay reaches the required length. The position is clear, but the lack of depth prevents a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is disjointed. Some transitions, such as 'Although there is no comparison between sports and education but sports play a vital role', are grammatically awkward and hinder the progression of ideas. The conclusion is very brief and does not effectively synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') to link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting evidence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. There are several spelling errors, such as 'Admitedly', 'opppurtunities', 'studenat', 'unparalel', 'buisness', and 'coclusion', which suggest a lack of proofreading. While you attempt some academic vocabulary like 'holistic' and 'instrumental', the overall range is restricted. To improve, focus on accurate spelling and expanding your repertoire of academic collocations. Avoid informal phrasing and ensure that your word choices are precise and appropriate for an academic essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'There is a worldwide debate whether schools first prioritize' (missing 'as to'), 'education play a holistic role' (subject-verb agreement), and 'Through, valid qualification' (incorrect punctuation). The sentence structures are mostly simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and punctuation. Reviewing basic sentence construction and ensuring that complex sentences are formed correctly will help raise your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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