Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
There is a worldwide debate about whether schools should first prioritize formal learning . I partially agree with this statement because play is important as study for a child's cognitive and behavioral progress.
Admittedly , formal study ensures a students better career opportunities . Moreover, best education plays a holistic role in a students life For instance , education fosters confidence and the best version of an individual. Through valid qualifications, a student can empower himself with unparalleled career, business or modern technology- unsuring a nation's progress.
Although there is no comparison between sports and education but sports play a vital role to shape a developed nation
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the ability to develop ideas. While you introduce a position, the arguments regarding the importance of play are barely touched upon, and the second question regarding the importance of play is not adequately addressed. The response is far too brief to provide the necessary support, examples, or depth required for an academic essay. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and ensure all parts of the prompt are answered in detail.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. While there is a brief introduction and two short paragraphs, the logical progression is interrupted by the lack of development. Cohesive devices are used sparingly (e.g., 'Admittedly', 'Moreover', 'For instance'), but they feel mechanical because the ideas they connect are underdeveloped. Paragraphing is present but ineffective due to the extreme brevity of the text. To improve, focus on creating a clear introduction, body paragraphs with topic sentences, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You use basic terms like 'best education' and 'formal study' without demonstrating a wider range of academic vocabulary. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'unsuring a nation's progress' (likely meant 'ensuring') and 'no comparison between sports and education'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and synonyms to express your ideas more clearly and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that hinder clarity. For example, 'a students better career' should be 'a student's better career', and 'a students life' is missing an apostrophe. There are also punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary spaces before periods. The sentence structures are relatively simple, and the attempt at complex sentences is limited by the lack of length. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of possessive apostrophes, and proofreading for basic punctuation and spelling errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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