Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some individuals say that the basic aim of primary school is formal education.

I completely go with this opinion though it's very crucial for the children to have activity based learning .

it has been observed by many of the schools that they are teaching primary ,students in a formal way ; i.e reading a lot , giving students daily homeworks

taking formal tests daily of their classroom work ,which is quite hectic and pressurizing for those cute little babies.for example itsquite challenging for a primary student to learn and read different subjects in their respective periods and after coming home they again have to open books and write down or have to copy down the passages that had been given as homework by many of their subject teachers.

nevertheless many people believe and have feeling that this method of teaching at primary schools must be changed significantly to the activity based learning which allows students to play and enjoy in the class simultaneously they are learning more precisely .for instance if a teacher is playing a song of Alphabets students learn the ABC while enjoying the song , similarly with color comparison activity a teacher can make students aware of certain colors ,these methods are quite effective .

To conclude i will say this argument is true , on the other hand some primary schools are not teaching or going this way , they have been adapted of modern teaching methods like activity based learning or fun based learning in which small prprimary students enjoy . I believe in future primary schools will shift to the modern learning system significantly .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is somewhat superficial. While you provide examples like 'playing a song of Alphabets', the explanation of why formal learning is 'hectic' relies on informal language ('cute little babies') rather than academic analysis. The position is clear, but the argument lacks depth and sophistication. To improve, ensure that your supporting points are fully explored with more formal reasoning rather than anecdotal descriptions. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'nevertheless' is used to introduce a point that is not strictly a contrast to the previous paragraph. There are also issues with punctuation and sentence boundaries, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters or using commas where full stops are required. The flow between ideas is sometimes disjointed, making the progression of the argument feel slightly forced. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic descriptors like 'hectic', 'pressurizing', and 'cute little babies', which are not appropriate for an academic essay. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'have feeling' instead of 'believe' or 'are not teaching or going this way'. While you attempt some topic-specific vocabulary like 'activity based learning', the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic synonyms and ensuring that your word choices are contextually appropriate and formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many of the schools that they are teaching'), incorrect pluralization ('homeworks'), and inconsistent capitalization. The use of punctuation is particularly problematic, with missing spaces after commas and periods, and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that your sentence structures are correctly punctuated.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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