Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern world many people believe that children should focus on learning in primary school. People don't allow their kids to spend time in outdoor activities. I completely agree with this opinion.

In primary school usually a child learn basic things. For example, he starts to speak well and meet new fellows. However, most of the parents want to learn their children in primary school that things which is too difficult for them. The sllybus of modren schools is also difficult. In the result, many students did get the high score and disappointe their parents. In fact, students in primary schools should focus on physical activities more then to learn their lessons. They should spend their after school time in outdoor sports. For example, when they finish school they should not go to academy they should visit the play grounds and spend time in playing sports. It will help them to improve their mental health as well as physical health.

In contrast, modren parents give their kids mobile phones after school which put negative impact on their brain. They spend most of their time playing video games and using Internet. In the result, they become lazy and physical unfit. However, if they will go outside and play any sport like football or cricket, it will refresh their mind and reduce the stress.

It is concluded, that participate in outdoor activities is as much important as to learn in school for primary students. They should spend thier time to play as well as learn.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you clearly state your position, the arguments regarding the difficulty of the syllabus and the negative impact of technology are somewhat generic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples or deeper analysis of why play is essential for cognitive or social development, rather than just stating that it improves health. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and could better synthesize the main points discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive (e.g., 'In the result', 'For example', 'However'). There are instances where the logical flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from school syllabus to after-school activities feels abrupt. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the progression of ideas would benefit from a wider variety of linking words to connect arguments more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'basic things', 'difficult', and 'good'. There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'sllybus', 'modren', 'thier') and word choice issues, such as 'want to learn their children' (should be 'want their children to learn') and 'physical unfit'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your spelling is accurate, as these errors occasionally draw attention to the language rather than the ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'a child learn'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'more then to learn their lessons'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are missing commas in complex sentences. While the meaning is usually clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on mastering sentence construction and proofreading for basic errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.