Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

it is fairly true that primary schools focus too much on formal learning , i agree and in my opinion this is not fair for the students too only study and learn and not play because by this students gets so much pressure and they almost forget the outside life and the importance of going out and play. by this they only focuses on study and due to this they do not get involved in any physical activities which is bad for thier health also. by playing they gets distrcated and also by playing they get refresh and stress free so by this they can study better. it is not necessary that they only physical game instead of playing that they can also play mind games which are better for thier brain and by playing those games thier thinking power also gets increased and they can think more easily and remember things

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—agreeing that there is too much focus on formal learning and explaining the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped and repetitive. You mention physical and mental benefits of play, but these points lack specific examples or depth. To improve, you must expand on your reasoning with concrete illustrations or personal experiences to meet the length requirement and provide a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response lacks paragraphing, which is essential for a structured essay. The flow of ideas is somewhat repetitive, and the text relies on basic connectors like 'by this' and 'also' to link sentences. There is no clear introduction or conclusion, and the lack of logical progression makes the argument feel disjointed. To achieve a higher score, you should organize your response into distinct paragraphs (introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion) and use a wider variety of cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to connect your ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite basic and repetitive, relying on simple terms like 'study', 'learn', 'play', and 'good'. There are several spelling errors, such as 'thier' (their) and 'distrcated' (distracted), and some awkward phrasing like 'it is not necessary that they only physical game'. The range of vocabulary is limited, which prevents you from expressing your ideas with precision. You should aim to incorporate more academic vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The response consists almost entirely of simple or run-on sentences. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'students gets', 'they only focuses') and incorrect word forms. Punctuation is also problematic, with a lack of proper sentence boundaries and capitalization. To improve, you need to focus on mastering basic sentence structure, including correct verb conjugation and punctuation. Once you are comfortable with simple sentences, try to incorporate complex structures using relative clauses or subordinating conjunctions to demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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