Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.5)
Some people believe that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal academic learning. I largely agree with this view because, although children need to develop basic academic skills, an education system that leaves little room for play can negatively affect their social, emotional and creative development.
Formal learning is undoubtedly important during the primary years. Children need to acquire fundamental skills such as reading, writing and mathematics, which provide the foundation for their later education. A structured classroom environment can also teach them discipline and help them develop the ability to follow instructions and complete tasks independently. However, academic lessons should not dominate the school day. Young children generally have limited attention spans, and expecting them to sit through long periods of conventional instruction can reduce their motivation and make learning stressful.
For this reason, play should be considered an essential part of primary education rather than merely a break from learning. Through games and other recreational activities, children can develop communication, teamwork and problem-solving skills in a natural way. For example, playing a team sport requires pupils to cooperate with others, follow rules and respond to changing situations, while imaginative games can stimulate creativity. These abilities are difficult to develop through textbooks and examinations alone. Moreover, regular opportunities to play can help children relax and return to academic activities with greater concentration.
Nevertheless, this does not mean that schools should reduce formal education substantially. Instead, a balanced approach would be more effective. Teachers can incorporate educational games, group projects, outdoor activities and practical experiments into lessons so that children learn while remaining actively engaged. This approach allows schools to meet academic objectives without sacrificing children's need for recreation.
In conclusion, formal learning is essential in primary education, but I agree that excessive emphasis on it is undesirable. Children should have sufficient opportunities to play because this contributes to their social, emotional and creative development. Therefore, primary schools should aim for a balanced combination of academic instruction and purposeful play.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
You have fully addressed all parts of the prompt. You clearly stated your position in the introduction, which is maintained consistently throughout the essay. Both parts of the question—the extent of your agreement and the importance of play—are well-developed with relevant arguments and examples. Your discussion on the benefits of play, such as developing communication and teamwork, is well-supported. The ideas are extended logically, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes your main points. The response is balanced and demonstrates a clear understanding of the task requirements, providing a comprehensive answer that is both relevant and well-structured.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, starting with a clear topic sentence. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'For this reason', 'Moreover', and 'Nevertheless', which help to link your arguments smoothly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The flow of information is natural, and the relationship between ideas is easy to follow. There is no evidence of mechanical or repetitive usage, and the overall structure supports the development of your argument perfectly.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.5
You demonstrate a wide and flexible range of vocabulary that allows for precise expression. You use academic collocations and topic-specific terminology effectively, such as 'excessive emphasis', 'fundamental skills', 'structured classroom environment', and 'actively engaged'. The vocabulary is used naturally and accurately throughout the text. There are no noticeable errors in word choice or spelling, and you successfully incorporate less common items that enhance the sophistication of your writing. Your lexical control is strong and contributes significantly to the clarity and professional tone of your essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5
Your writing displays a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses and conditional structures. The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation and tense usage is excellent. You use a variety of sentence forms, such as 'Although children need to develop... an education system that leaves little room for play can negatively affect...', which demonstrates high-level syntactic control. There are no significant grammatical errors that impede communication. The accuracy is consistent throughout, reflecting a high level of proficiency in English grammar.
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