Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In primary schools children have been taught significant amounts formal education rather than teaching them sports and behavioural lessons.

Nowadays academic studies are becoming more outcome oriented. Even primary schools are focusing on that due to all institutions want to keep their reputation. To some extent, there are significant amounts of advantages of formal learning at primary schools as students start learning punctuality from beginning of their life. Competitions push student to become a better version of themselves in every aspects. Furthermore, those formal education provide them confidence which may last lifelong.

While formal learnings are important but focusing entirely in it can be very dangerous. Too much formal education may make children self-centric, alone, and less active. If we can add any activity such as playing with each other, fun competition and extra curricular skills along with their classroom syllabus, which can make them more focused in their formal learning as well as these life lessons will definitely help them to develop knowledge of thinking out of the box. Moreover, it very important for a kid to be physically fit and this can be achieved through spots and they could make good memories with their friends through this type of activities. From my experience, I do not remember now what I have been taught in my primary school but I still remember every game I have played with my friends, which often make me nostalgic. Those activities help me think proactively, teach me to be kind with each other and I believe through only formal education it cannot be achieved from a primary children.

In conclusion, while formal learning is crucial to make knowledgeable but we cannot deny the importance of teaching them behavioural and sports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You maintain a clear position throughout, arguing that while formal learning is necessary, it must be balanced with play. The ideas are relevant and supported by personal experience, such as the mention of childhood memories of games. However, some points are slightly under-developed; for instance, the claim that formal education makes children 'self-centric' is a strong assertion that could have been explained with more nuance. Overall, the response covers all requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'While', and 'Moreover' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'While formal learnings are important but focusing entirely in it...'. The referencing is generally clear, though some sentences feel slightly disconnected due to grammatical slips. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument without difficulty.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'outcome oriented', 'punctuality', 'nostalgic', and 'proactively'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'significant amounts formal education' (missing 'of') and 'from a primary children' (incorrect pluralization). Additionally, 'spots' is used instead of 'sports'. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over word forms and collocations to reach a higher band. You successfully attempt some less common vocabulary, which is a positive step.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'due to all institutions want to keep their reputation' (should be 'because all institutions want'), 'those formal education provide' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'it very important' (missing verb 'is'). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your main points. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences will also help boost your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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