Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In this modern era, there are numerous kinder garden schools and there main focus is on formal learning, rather then is giving time to children for play indoor or outdoor. I strongly believe that, it is crucial for kids to play as well as studying in the school. So in the upcoming paragraphs, i am going to mention, what are the reasons behind that.
The first and the foremost reason is easy learning. Now a days, there are umpteen types of games are available for kid, that's help them to learn more frequently or make leaning more easier for them. For instance, there was a learning app launched by the Indian government for primary schools in 2025. In result, there were drastic changes in the students performances. Furthermore, playing is also part of growth, if kids are also getting time for play in school, it is ultimately going to help them in their growth.
A part from that, There are many school that give half time to kids for playing outdoor game. In return, students focus level are increasing and they are able to concentrate more and more in their study. There was a report issued by the frank furt university of USA. They believe that, providing time for playing in schools helps students to enhance their overall performance.
In conclusion , I believe that it is mandatory for growing children in the primary schools to pay as well as . Its ultimately boosting their focus make them healthy and fit.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that play helps with 'easy learning' and 'focus levels', the supporting examples, such as the vague reference to an 'Indian government app' or a 'Frankfurt university', lack specific detail or logical depth. To achieve a higher band, you should expand on the 'why' and 'how' of these benefits with more coherent reasoning. The position is clear throughout, but the overall argument would benefit from more sophisticated analysis rather than just listing general benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'A part from that' is a misspelling of 'Apart from that', and the transition 'In result' is non-standard. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by these awkward transitions. While there is an attempt to use linking words like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion', the flow between sentences is occasionally disjointed. Improving the variety and accuracy of your cohesive devices will help the essay read more naturally and logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and contains several errors in word choice and spelling. For instance, 'kinder garden' should be 'kindergarten', and 'leaning' is used instead of 'learning'. Phrases like 'umpteen types of games' are informal and not ideal for an academic essay. There is a limited range of vocabulary, and you rely on basic descriptors. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your spelling is accurate, as these errors occasionally distract the reader from your intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('there main focus is', 'there are umpteen types of games are available'), incorrect preposition usage, and punctuation errors. For example, 'In conclusion , I believe that it is mandatory for growing children in the primary schools to pay as well as .' is an incomplete sentence. You need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading to eliminate these persistent errors, which currently impede the flow and accuracy of your communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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