Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, the many individuals consider that elementary school are focusing too much on the formal learning while some people argue that this is beneficial for the students. In my opinion formal learning is crucial for children it give them a stable platform for their future while it also discipline the children .
On one side, the formal learning provide a platform to youngster that is a considerable advantage for their future. To elaborate, the learner get the highly structure platform and provided the certification for their higher education which could be so, helpful and to be more precise effective to climb the career ladder in their life and their upcoming projects. To exemplify, in many countries the formal system of education is followed which give them a flexible structure which enhance their growth and development form their childhood.
On the other side, the people who spot other viewpoint say that children wants to learn other skills also. To describe, this structural system usually challenging for the student to always follow a system in which they are unable to other advance abilities such a computer analysis or a business management for the beginning. For instance, in more great cities such as New York and London they are providing a more creative type of learning where they can got other exceptional ambitious which advancement to their overall profile.
To conclude, Although the we got many advance skills for our future, the formal learning provide a more structural beginning for high education not only this provide a stable flexibility.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you state a position in favor of formal learning, the second body paragraph is somewhat confusing, as it attempts to discuss the opposing view but fails to clearly link it to the importance of play. The arguments are present but lack depth and specific, logical support. For instance, the mention of 'computer analysis' or 'business management' for primary school children is not a standard argument for play-based learning, making the reasoning feel disconnected from the topic. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly supports your thesis with clear, relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the progression of ideas is often hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear logical flow. While you use some cohesive devices like 'On one side' and 'To exemplify,' they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. The concluding paragraph is particularly weak, as it fails to summarize the main points effectively and ends abruptly with a sentence that is grammatically incomplete and confusing. Improving the use of transition words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is often repetitive and lacks precision. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'the many individuals consider' (should be 'many individuals consider') and 'exceptional ambitious' (which is grammatically incorrect). You attempt to use some academic vocabulary, such as 'considerable advantage' and 'structure,' but the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and expanding your range of vocabulary to express complex ideas more naturally, rather than relying on basic or incorrectly used terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the learner get,' 'children wants'), incorrect article usage, and sentence fragments. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often marred by errors, such as 'the formal learning provide a platform to youngster that is a considerable advantage.' The punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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