Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There are many people who make arguments that primary level schools focus too much on formal learning and my vote is also in the favor of those people who argue on this statement. Below, I will discuss to prove that why I totally agree with this statement, as well as, I will elaborate that why playing along with study is important at primary level education.

Firstly, if we look into the argument, then I totally agree with this sentence. The reason behind that schools strictly focus on building their early study related concepts, regardless of caring about the mental level of students which is different in every students. To full fill this task teachers create a formal study plans which they implement on every pupil. Moreover, this formal plan bounds their students only in their syllabus having no time for their physical and mental growth. Ultimately, students consider themselves under a study pressure. In result, sometimes even they fail to showcase their actual leaning or studying abilities.

Secondly, if we look into the fun or play time which actually plays a significant role in primary student's life. Many parents and teachers imagine that playing is not crucial in primary student life because they have to focus on education to build better concepts helpful in upper studies. Otherwise, they will fail in their carriers and will not get enough status in future life. This concern is totally fine but what about the mental and physical health of students? If they are not enough healthy in their mental and physical abilities or qualities then how they can perform excellent in their studies. I think primary school should modify their curriculum and should add time for playing and fun activities which are important as much as their education is.

In conclusion, I would say I totally agree with the arguments against current primary school education system since it is actually destroying the mental and physical capabilities of students. Moreover, I would say that combining playing activities along with the education can make the students more productive in their works because this alteration in system is helpful in reducing pressure over them and can enforce them to work more harder with good qualities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument about 'mental and physical health' is mentioned in both the second and third paragraphs without significant expansion. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or deeper analysis of how play specifically benefits cognitive development or social skills, rather than just stating that it is important. The response is well-structured, but the depth of argumentation remains at a general level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'this sentence' refers to the prompt's opinion, but 'this statement' would be more natural). The flow between sentences is generally smooth, though some phrasing is slightly awkward, which occasionally draws attention to the structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their opinions clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'showcase' and 'productive', but there are also instances of imprecise word choice or collocation errors, such as 'my vote is also in the favor of' (instead of 'I share the view of') and 'work more harder' (a grammatical error affecting lexical accuracy). The repetition of words like 'study', 'formal', and 'students' suggests a limited range. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include 'every students' (plural noun needed), 'full fill' (should be 'fulfill'), 'in their carriers' (should be 'careers'), and 'not enough healthy' (should be 'not healthy enough'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. A greater focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and word order is recommended.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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