Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people argue that primary schools do not let children play they just focus too much on formal learning.

Nowadays, in many primary schools they focus too much on formal learning. And they also pressure children to get high marks in exams. They even force them more to study. In many countries parents admit their children in school at the age of 3 or 4. Which is not a good thing. This can pressure children as they are really young to study.

However, in many countries like USA, UK, CHINA, JAPAN, GERMANY and NORWAY. There is a age limit for students to get admission in schools. Until they can admit their child in kinder-garden where they can make their child habit to go school. Where he learns by playing. Which do not pressure children mind.

In many countries, parents and teachers pressure children to get position or high marks in exams. Through which children starts getting depress over their result. Because they are not appreciated over their efforts. Government ought to take action against this thing. And it should be a crime to demotivate children over their efforts.

And those children who are studying in primary school should not give such concentration in studies. They need to play as well because playing is also necessary for health. As our mind get fresh and children height grows by playing.

In my opinion, there should be a time for studying and playing in school everyday equally. Because as studying is necessary for children playing is also necessary. As this refresh children minds.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development is limited. While you express a clear opinion, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about children's physical growth is mentioned but not fully explored. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or logical explanations for your claims. The structure is clear, but the content remains at a general level, which limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive. You frequently start sentences with 'In many countries' or 'Because', which makes the flow feel somewhat disjointed. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented, such as 'Which is not a good thing' and 'Where he learns by playing', which disrupts the logical progression of your ideas. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand' would help create a smoother transition between your points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You rely on basic terms like 'study', 'play', and 'pressure'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'admit their children in school' (should be 'enroll') and 'children starts getting depress' (should be 'depressed'). While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is limited, and there are noticeable errors in word choice that prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Using more academic synonyms would significantly enhance the quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are often grammatically incorrect, such as 'Which is not a good thing' (a sentence fragment). There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children starts') and punctuation. The misuse of capitalization for country names is acceptable, but the overall control of grammar is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and ensuring that complex sentences are correctly linked with appropriate conjunctions rather than being broken into fragments.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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