Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while some people are completely agree with this view, I partially believe that children should it is equally important to play as well in the primary school because the physical activities and games also holds significance in children development. This essay will discuss the extent to which I agree with this statement.

To begin with, there are strong reasons to support the idea that physical games and activities are very crucial part of child's development. The primary reason is that if they lag in outdoor games, the children will always feel unconfident to face any challenge. Furthermore, development of there body and physic is equally important, which can significantly contribute to there future career. For example, if the child has an interest in cricket and school him focus only on formal teaching then the student will never be able to score good in academics. And the may lose the natural talent. Therefore, it is understandable why I support this viewpoint.

However, it is also important to consider that primary schools should focus more on formal learning. This is because education is the key to most of the successful careers in the world, and in some situations, it may lead to distraction from learning. For instance, it the student only focus more in physical activities then he may be not able to perform well in his academics. Nevertheless, I believe that both aspect learning and playing are equally important for children development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide a clear stance, the arguments in the second and third paragraphs are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the example regarding cricket is a bit simplistic and does not fully illustrate the broader educational benefits of play. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a distinct, well-supported point that directly answers the 'how important' aspect of the question with more sophisticated reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'However,' which help guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel forced. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'the may lose the natural talent,' where the subject is missing. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'formal learning,' 'significance,' and 'academics.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'physic' instead of 'physique' and 'score good' instead of 'achieve good grades.' There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'the children will always feel unconfident' (insecure/lacking confidence). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('games also holds significance'), article usage ('the child has an interest'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences ('if the student only focus more in physical activities then he may be not able to perform well'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage.

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