Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
It is often argued that primary educational institutions put more emphasis on traditional way of learning and i completely agree with this opinion because they think it is the most effective way of education. However, it is also important for schools to incorporate extracurricular activities beside education as it significantly improves children's social, physical and cognitive development.
Primary schools consider the conventional way of education impactful as it requires students to engage in studies and give full attention to syllabus for getting good grades in examinations. There is no doubt that, formal learning builds the fundamental knowledge which is important for their future but sometimes too much educational pressure breaks their confidence and hampers creativity. For example, primary schools in Bangladesh, encourage students to memorize paragraphs even if they do not understand the meaning behind it because they believe the more they memorize, the better their grades would be.
Nevertheless, i strongly believe it is necessary for schools to incorporate games and extracurricular activities alongside studies because it would dramatically increase their psychological and social skills. Moreover, playing is another form of exercise and so it would keep kids fit as well. Playing games and doing activities outside classrooms would teach them not only team work, collaboration, communication and conflict management but also how to make new friends. Through this process they learn discipline, social skills and confidence that traditional learning methods cannot teach. For instance, primary schools that blend playing with learning, observe smarter and more outgoing students who do tremendously well in the future compared to those institutions that do no do it.
In conclusion, although conventional learning method is important for fundamental growth, too much focus on this can be problematic and therefore, it is important for primary schools to include playing games and extracurricular activities with learning to bring interactivity in classroom as its inevitably connected to a child's mental, physical and social growth.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. The ideas regarding the drawbacks of formal learning and the benefits of play are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of rote memorization in Bangladesh. To reach a higher band, ensure that the link between the two parts of the prompt is even more explicit; for instance, you could further elaborate on how the 'over-focus' on formal learning directly necessitates the integration of play to balance a child's development. Overall, the response is well-focused and relevant.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and you use cohesive devices such as 'However,' 'Nevertheless,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. For example, the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be strengthened by using a more nuanced linking phrase. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the logical structure is consistent throughout the piece.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'extracurricular activities,' 'cognitive development,' and 'fundamental knowledge' are used effectively. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'traditional way of learning' (should be 'traditional ways of learning') and 'do no do it' (a typo). To improve, try to incorporate more idiomatic expressions or less common collocations to show greater flexibility. The vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows for clear communication of your ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are some grammatical errors, such as the frequent omission of capital letters for 'I' and minor punctuation issues. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward, such as 'its inevitably connected' (should be 'it is'). While these errors are noticeable, they do not impede communication. To achieve a higher band, focus on increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences and ensuring consistent subject-verb agreement and capitalization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.