Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.5)
It is often argued that primary educational institutions put more emphasis on traditional ways of learning, and I completely agree with this opinion because they consider it the most effective way of educating children. However, I also believe that it is important for schools to incorporate extracurricular activities alongside formal education, as these can significantly contribute to children's social, physical and cognitive development.
Primary schools consider conventional methods of education effective because they require students to engage in their studies and give their full attention to the syllabus in order to achieve good grades in examinations. There is no doubt that formal learning provides fundamental knowledge that is important for children's future; however, excessive academic pressure can undermine their confidence and hinder their creativity. For example, primary schools in Bangladesh often encourage students to memorise entire paragraphs even when they do not fully understand their meaning because they believe that the more information students memorise, the better their examination results will be.
Nevertheless, I strongly believe that it is necessary for schools to incorporate games and extracurricular activities alongside academic studies because these can significantly improve children's cognitive and social skills. Moreover, playing is also a form of physical exercise, and therefore it can help children remain fit and healthy. Playing games and participating in activities outside the classroom can teach them not only teamwork, collaboration, communication and conflict management, but also how to interact with others and form friendships. Through this process, they develop discipline, social skills and self-confidence that traditional learning methods alone cannot provide. For instance, primary schools that combine play with learning may produce students who are more confident and outgoing and who perform better in various academic and social activities than those in schools that do not incorporate such activities.
In conclusion, although conventional learning methods are important for establishing a fundamental educational foundation, placing too much emphasis on them can be problematic. Therefore, I believe that primary schools should incorporate games and extracurricular activities alongside formal learning to make the classroom more interactive, as this balanced approach is inevitably connected to children's mental, physical and social development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt clearly. You have taken a consistent position throughout, agreeing that formal learning is over-emphasized while arguing for the necessity of play. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the discussion on the negative impact of rote learning in the Bangladesh example and the benefits of play for social development. The response is balanced and directly answers both questions posed in the prompt. To reach a higher band, you could further explore the 'extent' of your agreement by briefly acknowledging the specific circumstances where formal learning is indispensable, thereby adding more nuance to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the critique of formal learning and the benefits of play is smooth. You use a variety of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Nevertheless', 'Moreover', and 'For instance', which help guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the task. The flow is natural, and the relationship between ideas is consistently clear throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary that is appropriate for an academic context. Phrases like 'extracurricular activities', 'cognitive development', 'fundamental educational foundation', and 'undermine their confidence' show a strong command of topic-specific language. The word choice is generally precise and natural. While the vocabulary is effective and accurate, it stays within a relatively standard range. To achieve a higher band, you could incorporate more sophisticated, less common collocations or idiomatic academic phrasing to demonstrate greater flexibility.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5
The essay displays a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses (e.g., '...because they believe that the more information students memorise, the better their examination results will be'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is excellent. There are no significant grammatical errors that impede communication. The use of modal verbs and conditional structures is accurate, contributing to a professional and academic tone. The writing is fluent and demonstrates a high level of grammatical control.
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