Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. I partly agree with this view because academic subjects are important for children's development, but I also believe that play should be an essential part of primary education. Children can learn important skills through both classroom lessons and enjoyable activities.
There are several reasons why formal education is necessary at primary school. Firstly, children need to develop basic skills such as reading, writing and mathematics, which provide a foundation for their future education. Secondly, regular lessons can teach children discipline and help them develop the ability to concentrate. However, if schools focus too heavily on textbooks and examinations, young children may become bored and lose interest in learning. Therefore, academic lessons should be suitable for their age and abilities.
At the same time, playing is extremely important for young children because it supports their social, physical and emotional development. Through games, children can learn how to communicate, cooperate and solve problems with others. For example, team games can teach them how to share responsibilities and respect other people's ideas. Moreover, physical activities help children stay healthy, while creative games can improve their imagination. For these reasons, schools should provide enough time for children to play as well as study.
In conclusion, I believe that formal learning is necessary in primary schools, but it should not dominate the entire school day. Although children need to develop basic academic skills, play is equally important because it helps them develop social skills, creativity and physical health. A balanced approach, which combines academic lessons with play-based activities, is therefore the best way to educate young children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses all parts of the task clearly. You have provided a balanced position, acknowledging the necessity of formal learning while arguing for the inclusion of play. The ideas are well-developed, with specific reasons given for both sides of the argument. For instance, you explain the benefits of formal education (discipline, foundational skills) and contrast this with the developmental advantages of play (social skills, physical health). The conclusion effectively synthesizes these points, maintaining a consistent stance throughout. To reach a higher band, you could further extend your examples by briefly mentioning how a specific school system or pedagogical approach successfully integrates these two elements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between paragraphs is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'However', 'At the same time', and 'In conclusion'. These markers help the reader follow your argument without difficulty. The paragraphing is appropriate, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The referencing is clear, and the flow of information is natural throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'place too much emphasis', 'essential part of primary education', and 'balanced approach' are used accurately. You also incorporate some less common collocations such as 'develop basic skills' and 'support their social, physical and emotional development'. While the vocabulary is appropriate and natural, it is generally functional rather than sophisticated. To achieve a higher score, you could incorporate more precise academic synonyms or idiomatic expressions to add variety and depth to your arguments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5
The essay displays a good control of grammatical structures. You use a mix of simple and complex sentences effectively, such as the conditional structure 'if schools focus too heavily on textbooks and examinations, young children may become bored'. Punctuation is accurate, and there are very few grammatical errors. The majority of your sentences are error-free, which indicates a high level of control. To move into the higher bands, ensure that you continue to experiment with a wider variety of complex structures, such as passive voice or inverted conditionals, to demonstrate greater flexibility.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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