Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some people believe that primary schools address to much on formal learning and do not give enough time to play. I partly agree this view because academic education crucial for young children, but i also believe that play is equally important for their activity and development.
firstly, formal learning plays an important role in a child's education. At primary schools children need to improve their basic skills such as reading, writing, listening, mathematics, english which improves their communication for their future studies i can give you my example in my school teachers did not give focus on english because i studied from Hindi medium background therefore currently i am facing speaking issues in Dubai so that i think study is also plays important role in our future life.
On the other hand, play is also the
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely limits your ability to develop your ideas. While you attempt to address both parts of the prompt—the extent of your agreement and the importance of play—the essay is incomplete and cuts off mid-sentence. Because the response is less than 150 words, it fails to provide a balanced or fully developed argument. To improve, you must ensure you write at least 250 words by expanding on your points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples, ensuring you reach a clear conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure due to its unfinished state. While you use basic cohesive devices like 'firstly' and 'on the other hand' to signal a transition, the abrupt ending prevents the development of a logical progression of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but the second paragraph is incomplete, making it difficult to assess your ability to manage cohesion effectively across a full essay. To improve, focus on completing your thoughts and using a wider variety of linking words to connect your arguments more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use simple terms like 'give focus' and 'study', which are repetitive. There are also minor errors in word choice, such as 'address to much' instead of 'focus too much'. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to education and child development. Avoid repeating the same words and aim for a more varied and sophisticated vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors that impact the clarity of your writing. For example, 'academic education crucial' is missing a verb, and 'study is also plays' contains a double verb error. You rely mostly on simple sentence structures, and there are issues with punctuation and capitalization, such as the lowercase 'i' used throughout. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure you use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms will also help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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