Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In modern societies, there is an ongoing debate on to what extent primary schools should focus on formal education. Some people think that they are focusing more than they should. I strongly agree with this opinion, in recent years, the primary schools are focused more on the formal learning than the informal activities. However, physical activities are equally important.

Nowadays, educational institutes emphasize too much on the formal courses, while extra-curricular activities are nearly ignored. This may be due to growing competition among schools and concerns from parents. For example, some institutes need to publish students' yearly performance report to attract more enrollments. Moreover, they need to send students' progress reports to the parents and tutors on weekly and monthly basis. That is why children are overly pressurized for academic learning, however, it has detrimental effects on pupils' physical as well as mental health.

I believe, non-academic activities, such as sports have equal importance as the formal learning because they allow students to explore their skills, keep them physically active, and improve their mental well-being. It has been reported by various studies that physical activities enhance students' cognitive abilities and have positive impact on their academic progress. This is because during games like chess, pupils' think in innovative ways to decide their next move, which improve their overall thinking and decision making abilities.

In conclusion, although formal learning has a major role in students' academic outcomes, the non-academic activities and games are equally important because they improve their physical and mental health, ultimately improving their academic progress.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the pressure from competition and the cognitive benefits of play. However, the development is somewhat limited; the explanation of why schools focus on formal learning is well-supported, but the discussion on the importance of play could be more deeply explored with more specific examples beyond chess. The response covers all requirements, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a Band 7 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Nowadays', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion', which help the flow of ideas. However, there are instances where the transition between sentences feels slightly mechanical. For example, the link between the pressure on schools and the impact on students could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally clear, though the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be strengthened to improve the overall logical flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the message clearly. There is an attempt to use less common items like 'detrimental effects', 'cognitive abilities', and 'innovative ways'. While the range is adequate, it is not particularly wide or sophisticated. There are some minor issues with collocation, such as 'educational institutes emphasize too much on', where 'place too much emphasis on' would be more natural. The vocabulary is generally accurate and fits the context, but it lacks the flexibility and precision required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the primary schools are focused' (unnecessary article), 'pupils' think' (incorrect apostrophe usage), and 'on weekly and monthly basis' (missing article). Additionally, there is a comma splice in the first paragraph: 'I strongly agree with this opinion, in recent years...'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur with enough frequency to prevent a higher score. A wider variety of error-free complex structures would be needed to reach the Band 7 level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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