Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Learning is necessary to move in this world. Let's elaborate this statement that some people argue that primary schools pay attention on formal learning and how important is it is for children's to play as well as learn in the primary schools. I my opinion only teaching is not enough for a child. A very short age is developing age. Children's adopts new thing's, new habit's as well as languages etc. So I must agree this statement that playing is much necessary as learning.
For instance if a child sit for study for an hour he she may bored and irritate to spend more time on studies. Furthermore in future he will show no excitement for studies. So when they study there should be must breaks to fresh them for further studies. Break contains play games or anything they like.
Also I included that playing boost energy open brain for new challenge's and empower health as well as strong bones.
In this way I agree this statement that playing is very essential as learning. On the other hand some children's not go to the school they remain on the back on those who are the regular s. They have no confidence also not contribute in things. Their growth will be slow and hesitate to convey their messages . They cry on small things. So if we see in this way learning and playing both play a very important role in the children's life.
In conclusion children's are attention seekers so focus on their like dislike.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that play boosts energy and health, the arguments remain superficial and lack specific examples or deeper analysis. The position is clear, but the supporting points are repetitive and lack the depth required for a higher band. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations or real-world examples, ensuring each paragraph contributes meaningfully to your overall argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions are often missing or used incorrectly, such as 'Also I included that...' and 'In this way I agree this statement'. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes confusing, which hinders the flow of ideas. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'good', 'study', and 'play'. There are frequent errors in word formation and usage, such as 'Children's adopts new thing's' (should be 'Children adopt new things') and 'on the back on those' (which is unclear). The misuse of apostrophes (e.g., 'habit's', 'challenge's') is a recurring issue that affects the professional tone of the writing. To improve, try to incorporate more academic vocabulary and focus on correct word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('some children's not go'), incorrect sentence structure, and punctuation issues. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the simple sentences used often contain errors that impede clarity. For example, 'Let's elaborate this statement that some people argue...' is grammatically awkward. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and plurals, before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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