Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is true that a few people argue that primary school focus too much on formal learning. I partially agree with this statement and it is vital for juveniles to play which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, there are multifarious aspects regarding the disagree side. Firstly, soft skills. To explain it, in the primary schools children are in their developing age so schools should teach soft skills such as games, cooperation, and many other skills due to which pupils learn more in the school. Secondly, future secure. To elaborate it more, when juveniles used to soft skills se their hidden talent are shown in fronts of others owing to which they secure their future by their hidden talent.

On the other hand, there are many factors related tp agree side. The important one is that,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the ability to develop ideas. The essay is incomplete, ending abruptly in the second body paragraph. While the introduction attempts to state a position, the lack of development means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, you must ensure you provide a full introduction, two or three well-developed body paragraphs with supporting examples, and a conclusion. Currently, the ideas regarding 'soft skills' and 'future secure' are too brief and lack the necessary depth to meet the requirements of an academic essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'Firstly', which provides a rudimentary structure. However, the progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. The paragraphing is attempted, but the second paragraph is left unfinished, which disrupts the logical flow. To achieve a higher band, you need to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, supporting arguments, and a concluding thought, all linked together with a wider range of cohesive devices to create a smooth, logical progression throughout the entire piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and occasionally imprecise. Phrases like 'the disagree side' and 'future secure' are not natural collocations in English. While you attempt some academic vocabulary such as 'multifarious' and 'juveniles', these are sometimes used incorrectly or in a way that feels forced. To improve, focus on using words that fit the context naturally. Avoid using overly complex words if you are not certain of their exact usage; instead, prioritize clarity and accurate word choice to convey your ideas effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity, such as 'primary school focus' (should be 'schools focus') and 'when juveniles used to soft skills se their hidden talent'. Sentence structures are generally simple, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and word order. To improve, practice constructing more complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'although', 'because', 'which') and ensure you proofread your work to correct basic errors in tense and pluralization. Focusing on accuracy in simple sentences before moving to complex ones will help stabilize your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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