Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years some people believe that primary schools give too much attention on a formal learning. To a some extent i agree with this view that learning is an important, children also need sufficient time for play and recreational activities.
One main reason why i agree with this statement is that competition makes parents demand more formal academic learning. This means that nowadays parents wants their child to become a professional at an early age because of fast growing competition for well paid salary and seat at high designation. For example,In India parents demand above 90% marks in the exam and some people do not like that their child is good at another activities such as dancing , singing or any sports. They believe that having a 9 to 5 job with high salary or owning a successful business is make your life succesful in the society.
Why i have a strong opinion that play is crucial in children daily life is that, play helps children concentrate and learn more effectively. On the other word children who plays outside or playing mind games are more active than a child who only focus on the studies, children who learn while playing is able to turn their mind in a way that they think how to remeber and give an answers of difficult questions without memorising or write it down 100 times. For Instance, Japanese students learn mathematics and science while playing their favourite sports, primary teachers know that students learn hard mathematics problems and science concept if it is connect with the activities they like to do.
In conclusion, i agree that formal learning is important because parents wants their child to have a well known status in a society, but from my perspective it should be balacnced with play.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the explanation of parental pressure in India is relevant, the connection between 'formal learning' and 'high designation' could be more precisely articulated. The second body paragraph effectively argues for the benefits of play, but the example regarding Japanese students is a bit general. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more specific, nuanced reasoning rather than relying on broad generalizations about societal expectations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'On the other word' (which should be 'In other words') and 'Why i have a strong opinion... is that'. Referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more fluidly. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different aspects of the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'give too much attention on a formal learning' (should be 'to formal learning') and 'seat at high designation' (should be 'high-status positions'). While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'recreational activities' and 'concentrate', the overall range is limited. Some errors, such as 'make your life succesful', are noticeable but do not impede the reader's understanding of the main points.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('parents wants', 'child who plays', 'students learn... if it is connect') and article usage ('a formal learning', 'a society'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas and capitalization of 'i'. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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