Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people debate that primary schools concentrate more on formal education. I partially agree with the view, there are few result oriented schools focus more on formal education. However, many of the schools concentrate on children mental and physical health.

On the one hand, formal education is important in the primary level because it is a formation period. Without a proper foundation, children cannot have a bright future. But some schools goes little further and force the children to have more concentration on formal education, merely to maintain their reputation. It will affect the children health and it also leads the children not to have much interest on studies and also eventually leads the kids to harm themselves.

Therefore, Physical health plays significant role in the part of children life in the primary level. When a children plays, their creative level increase and it will help the kids to grasp more and also will reduce their stress hormone. Sometimes, kids can be more stressed because of the memorization and continuous classes. For example: if a kid learn simple math while playing, that will be easy for the kid to understand and connect it will day to day life and it will be easy to remember without much stress of memorization. Children learns the importance of physical fitness from their childhood onwards, that will help the children to have a habit of doing physical activities and eventually it will lead to a healthy life style.

In conclusion, though few schools focus more on formal education. For primary school kids, it is crucial to take care of their mental and physical health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction, and the arguments regarding the balance between academic rigour and physical/mental well-being are relevant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about schools forcing children to study to 'maintain their reputation' is a good observation but lacks specific examples or deeper analysis. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and could have better synthesised the main points to provide a more comprehensive summary of the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'Therefore', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the phrase 'connect it will day to day life' which lacks a clear antecedent. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, but the flow between sentences within the second paragraph could be smoother to improve the overall progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common collocations, such as 'result oriented' and 'formation period'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and form, such as 'children health' (should be 'children's health') and 'creative level increase' (should be 'creativity increases'). The range is sufficient to communicate the message, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Improving the use of academic collocations would enhance the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that persist throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('some schools goes', 'a children plays'), missing articles ('in the part of children life'), and punctuation errors. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, the student should focus on basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural and singular nouns.

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