Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, formal learning as much important as play. while some people argue that primary school focus on formal learning than playing games. Although academic education is as important, I believe that academic learning as that important as playing games in schools.

First of all, playing games keep children mind creative and socialize. Although formal learning only teach them subjectively ideas, while playing games get them a sharp mind. providing them a playroom might be useful in their curriculum activities which helpful in their future. such as, not every student are smart in formal learning, some of mind may be powerful in games. Therefore, Primary school should provide a healthy balanced for academic learning as well as play.

on the other hand, learning formal subject as that important to playa sufficient games. moreover, give time to subjects like English, Maths, Science can give them a basic knowledge of education. Adding this subject helped them to gain knowledge by the zero so that suddenly they might be not difficult foe them. At primary school, children need to develop basic skills such as reading, writing and speaking. In addition, classroom activities teach them how to concentrate on subjects. such as, mathematics teach them how to think logical and help them deal with everyday situation more efficiently.

In conclusion, as children need academic knowledge as well as opportunities to play games and gain knowledge in other skills also. while I think both are equally important for children to learn academic as well as play sports in their primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you clearly state that both are important, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, you mention that 'not every student are smart in formal learning,' but this point is not fully expanded upon to explain how play specifically benefits these students. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by a well-developed explanation and a concrete example, rather than listing general benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the use of 'such as' at the start of sentences is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. Transitions like 'on the other hand' are used, but the logical progression between sentences is sometimes weak, making the argument feel disjointed. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' 'in contrast') and ensure they are used to connect ideas logically rather than just acting as sentence starters.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There is significant repetition of basic terms like 'learning,' 'games,' and 'subjects.' Some word choices are awkward or incorrect, such as 'subjectively ideas' instead of 'academic concepts' and 'gain knowledge by the zero.' To achieve a higher score, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations related to education and child development, and work on using words in their correct context to avoid confusion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'not every student are smart'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'Although formal learning only teach them subjectively ideas, while playing games get them a sharp mind.' The range of structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of complex sentence structures like 'although' and 'while' without creating redundant clauses.

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