Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people believe that primary education institutions pay greatly focus on student formal education. But I agree that play important role in student physical and mental health. Play have a wonderful impact on student physical activities.

Many of reasons discuss in this regard. We know that education is a golden key in our lives. Nobody can deny this fact. Every nation made progress in every field of life because of education .But play also have importance. We know that play revamping the student's confidence abilities. In the regard of play, children have a great potential to discover their hidden talents and rely on their own capabilities. For instance, most singers claimed that they could not be successful, If their teachers did not reveal their hidden talents.

No doubt, primary schools pay more attention on student's education, but they also give the opportunity to students by organizing different parties. I think that play also have a great effect on immunity level. Plays and different type of sports boost their immune system In the playground, children have perfect opportunity to sharing their ideas and increasing their meeting area. Some sports increasing their muscle movement. Some psychologist research reveals that some kind of plays sharpens mind memory.

To conclude, people argument on primary schools gives attention on formal learning are right in their site. But I agree that play also have an importance as well as education, and children should have an eager in their playing report. Play reduces stress and involves in the cognitive development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For example, the argument about 'immunity' and 'muscle movement' is not clearly linked to the educational context of the classroom. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments lack depth and rely on vague assertions rather than well-explained reasoning. To improve, you should focus on expanding your points with more logical connections to the primary school environment, ensuring that each paragraph directly supports your central thesis rather than listing loosely related benefits of play.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often disjointed. Transitions between sentences are frequently missing or mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'Some' and 'But' to start sentences. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices, they are often used incorrectly or in a way that disrupts the flow, such as 'In the regard of play' or 'In the side'. The logical flow within paragraphs is hindered by these issues, making the reader work harder to follow your argument. Improving the use of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in addition' would greatly enhance the readability.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'play', 'education', and 'important' throughout the text. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'pay greatly focus', 'meeting area', and 'playing report', which impede the natural flow of the writing. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the limited range of vocabulary prevent a higher score. You should aim to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to child development and pedagogy to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'Play have a wonderful impact' and 'Some sports increasing'. Additionally, articles are frequently misused or omitted, and sentence structures are often simplistic or fragmented. While you attempt some complex ideas, the lack of control over basic grammar, such as verb tenses and pluralization, is noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and try to vary your sentence structures by using subordinating conjunctions more accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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