Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is true that, some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. It is also important for children to play as well as learn in primary school classroom, ignoring learning is not an option while primary schools must have to maintain a fix peripd of time for playing games too.
To begin with, formal learning is an important factor for better future and better manners. Some primary schools focus too much formal learning and this is clearly a drawback . Playing some outdoor games helps to relax mind and some games also increase stamina and power . There are many examples of players representing country at international level in many kind of games . Some schools only focus on learning and this activity create a king burden on children.
Probing further, there a case in a primary school where a children commit sucide during his primary exams. Study creates too much pressure on human mind and relavently some games reduce burden of study. Initially focusing too much on a particular feild is not a solution childen must learn and play games as well. However, some schools main focus is on formal learning to also maintain good position of there school for more admissions. Competition in private schools had increased too much these days and many students are suffering from problems like anxiety .
In conclusion, formal learning is important but playing games is also an important factor . Primary schools must have to focus on some kind of games as well.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you mention the pressure of exams and the benefits of physical activity, the argument lacks depth and specific, well-supported examples. The mention of a child committing suicide is an extreme and unsubstantiated claim that detracts from the academic tone of the essay. To improve, focus on providing more balanced, logical arguments and ensure that your position is clearly maintained throughout the essay. Some points, such as the 'king burden' (likely meant as 'heavy burden'), are under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Probing further' is used to introduce a new paragraph, but the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'there a case in a primary school where a children commit sucide'. The progression of ideas is present but lacks the sophisticated linking required for higher bands. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context will enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but limited in sophistication. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'fix peripd of time', 'king burden', and 'relavently'. You also use 'feild' (field) and 'there' instead of 'their'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of precision and the presence of spelling errors prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and proofreading for basic spelling mistakes. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic terms related to education would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('a children commit'), missing articles, and incorrect word forms ('there school' instead of 'their school'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. While the meaning is usually understandable, the frequency of these errors indicates a lack of control over complex structures. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with plurals and possessive pronouns, will help improve your score significantly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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