Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal learning and do not provide students with enough opportunities to play. I strongly agree with this view because although structured education can helps them develop fundamental skills, play is equally important for children's cognitive, social and emotional development.

One reason why primary schools formal learning is the increasing pressure to achieve higher results. Children are often expected to prepare lengthy worksheets, memorise information or prepare frequent assessments. While these activities can help them develop basic literacy and numeracy skills, excessive classroom-based instructions would reduce their curiosity and enjoyment. Young children often have shorter attention spans, so requiring them to sit still and concentrate on longer periods can be counterproductive. A more balanced approach would be obtained by producing a balance between learning and play.

Play, in particular, is extremely important along with education because it gives the students mental and physical health. Team plays teach children significant skills such as cooperation, communication, and how to resolve disagreements. physical activities are not merely recreational; they are an important part of children's overall education. For example, a teacher could use role-play to teach a language lesson or a mathematical game to help students practice basic mathematical calculations, and pupils can learn in an enjoyable way.

However it is wrong to reduce structured education completely. Elementary schools make the foundations of the students. Therefore, it cannot be ignored.

In conclusion, although formal academic learning could be productive, creative activities are also equally valuable.

Educational institutions should organize events or certain period for sports and games because physical health is also crucial at school level.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the mention of cognitive development and social skills like cooperation. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The second paragraph introduces the topic of formal learning but could have been more specific in its arguments. The third paragraph provides good examples of how play can be integrated into the curriculum, which strengthens the response. Overall, the task is well-addressed, though some points could be expanded with more depth to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'One reason why', 'For example', and 'However' are used to guide the reader. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the connection between the final body paragraph and the conclusion could be more seamless. Referencing is generally clear, though the sentence 'Elementary schools make the foundations of the students' is slightly awkward in its phrasing and placement.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task and allows for some flexibility. The student uses relevant terms such as 'cognitive', 'fundamental skills', 'literacy', and 'numeracy'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice or collocation, such as 'produce a balance' instead of 'strike a balance' and 'make the foundations' instead of 'lay the foundations'. These errors do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more sophisticated collocations and a wider range of less common lexical items used with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical slips, such as 'structured education can helps' (subject-verb agreement) and 'longer periods' (should be 'for longer periods'). Punctuation is generally adequate, though there is a missing comma after 'However' in the fourth paragraph. While the errors are noticeable, they do not impede the reader's understanding of the main arguments. The range of structures is sufficient, but more consistent control over complex sentence forms would improve the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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