Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, more and more schools are concerned about the primary learning of the students, it is argued that it would be very beneficial for the students, ultimately, I acknowledge that this aspect might be appropriate and substantial, but co-curricular also plays crucial role in the development of a child.

As a matter of fact, schools nowadays, pay more attention to formal learning, without evaluating the nuances and individual students needs and circumstances. Consequently, it have a negative impact on various abilities of the students such as creativity, social abilities and so on. For instance, too much study pressure might cause anxiety and stress for the students, such as students are forced to just do rote learning and cramming, rather than gaining genuine concepts Significantly, they could not participate in any creative activities.

However, the education boards and the administration of the primary schools should evaluate individual needs and circumstances of the students, and then evaluate the study patterns. A balanced environment, which include creativity, different societies, character development sessions and so on, and an appropriate learning route. This would be advantageous for the students to be focused on every nook and cranny. For instance, learning mathematics in a playful way would be upper hand, furthermore, students could be able to be a critical thinker and analyzer, which would be beneficial for him in his practical life, and also help the student to find his passion and interest.

In conclusion, despite the valid arguments given by opponents regarding formal learning, students always want to be practical, so the teachers at primary schools should give vent to the students, so they could grow appropriately, and I am still convinced about the overarching benefits of play in learning process.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that formal learning causes stress and that play is beneficial, the arguments lack specific, well-developed examples. For instance, the mention of 'creativity' and 'social abilities' is a good start, but these points are not fully explored. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments would benefit from more depth and concrete evidence to reach a higher band. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'consequently', 'for instance', and 'furthermore' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'Significantly, they could not participate...' which does not logically follow the previous sentence. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for example, in the second paragraph, it is not always clear what 'it' refers to. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that cohesive devices are used to connect ideas more naturally will improve your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'nuances', 'co-curricular', and 'overarching'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and imprecise word choices, such as 'give vent to the students' and 'focused on every nook and cranny', which are not used in their standard idiomatic contexts. Some vocabulary is repetitive, and there is a reliance on simpler structures. To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary that fits the academic tone of the essay without forcing idioms that do not quite fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'Consequently, it have a negative impact' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'A balanced environment, which include...' (should be 'includes'). There are also issues with punctuation and sentence fragments, such as the sentence starting with 'A balanced environment...' which lacks a main verb. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement, correct verb tense usage, and ensuring that every sentence is complete and grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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