Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, primary schools focusing excessively on formal learning. It is crucial part for kids to play as well as learn in the classroom of primary school.
In my prospective, it is needed to learn formal things because of increasing competitiveness in education.
Education system is updating more and more because of advancement in our world. So, we need to updated according to our lifestyle. As, advancement in learning, kids are also updating themselves in multitasking. If we see youngsters around us, there is maximum number of them are so talented in both academics and non-academics. For instance, in the past kids used to cry a lot when they went to school. Now, time has changed, they do not cry anymore. Rather, they love to go to schools more.
In contrary, schools are focusing on more formal, as a result they can not express themselves fully. Also, they have to follow rules and regulations. For their growth, playing is a necessity part in their life. Kids learn more when they are active in playing. Without it, they are not interested to learn anything. Furthermore, there interest to go to schools kills them. As an example, the primary students in our country are not involved to go to school.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses both parts of the prompt—the focus on formal learning and the importance of play—the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient supporting evidence. The position is stated but not consistently maintained or explored in depth. The ideas are presented in a fragmented manner, and the lack of length prevents a full exploration of the topic, leading to a superficial treatment of the issues. To improve, you must expand your arguments with specific examples and ensure you meet the minimum word count.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression of ideas is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'In contrary' (should be 'In contrast') and 'As, advancement in learning'. The connection between sentences is often mechanical, and the flow of the argument is frequently interrupted by unclear phrasing. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks the necessary depth to create a coherent argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would greatly enhance the readability and logical flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits the expression of complex ideas. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'formal things', 'updating themselves in multitasking', and 'interest to go to schools kills them'. These errors occasionally make the intended meaning difficult to follow. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and focus on using words in their correct context. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary will help you express your points more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are issues with sentence structure, such as 'Nowadays, primary schools focusing excessively on formal learning' (missing a verb) and 'there is maximum number of them are' (incorrect structure). Subject-verb agreement and article usage are also inconsistent. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the correct use of tenses and articles to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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