Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
In this modern era, several individuals believe that primary school are focusing excessively on formal education, while others debate that schools should focus on play as well. From my viewpoint, I partially agree with this view, as while formal learning is necessary, play also plays a vital role in children's development.
On the one hand, academic learning is crucial for every student. Children need structured lessons to build core academic skills such as reading, writing, and mathematics. Without a solid foundation in these areas, they may struggle in later stages of education. For instance, learning to read and write through formal instruction equips children with tools they will use throughout their entire lives, both academically and professionally. Therefore, removing formal learning from primary schools would be counterproductive. However, this does not mean that play should be removed.
On the other hand, without play students cannot develop properly. Play activities help children to build social skills, creativity and problem solving ability, which formal learning cannot provide alone. For instance, when children play together, they learn how to communicate and work as a team. Moreover, research suggests that children who engage in regular play show better concentration in the classroom. Therefore, schools should include play activities in their daily routine, as it not only improves mental wellbeing but also helps students to perform better academically.
In conclusion, although academic learning is important for students future career, play is also equally crucial for their social and mental development. Therefore, primary schools should maintain a balance between formal learning and play activities in order to produce well-rounded students.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay. Both aspects of the prompt—the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play—are discussed with relevant supporting ideas. The arguments are logical and well-developed, such as the link between play and social skills or the necessity of core academic foundations. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples or extend the analysis of how these two elements can be integrated in a practical classroom setting, which would add further depth to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is well-organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the two sides of the argument is smooth. You use a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore'. The paragraphing is logical, moving from the introduction to the body paragraphs and a concise conclusion. The flow is natural, and the relationship between ideas is easy to follow throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'structured lessons', 'core academic skills', 'counterproductive', and 'well-rounded students' are used appropriately. While the vocabulary is accurate and fits the academic context well, it is generally functional rather than sophisticated. To achieve a higher band, you could incorporate more precise collocations or less common lexical items to demonstrate a wider, more flexible range. However, there are no significant errors in word choice or spelling that impede communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. You demonstrate good control over grammar, with most sentences being error-free. There are minor slips, such as 'primary school are focusing' (should be 'primary schools are focusing') and 'students future career' (missing possessive apostrophe: 'students' future careers'). Despite these occasional slips, your control over punctuation and sentence construction is generally strong. The variety of structures used is sufficient to convey complex ideas clearly, and the errors present do not interfere with the reader's understanding.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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