Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most people believe that formal education should be taught during early education, while some believe otherwise.

Although there are valid arguments that support formal education is highly beneficial during early education, I lean towards the idea of involving play during their primary years.

Formal education is a set curriculum taught by trained professional teachers,although it includes essential subjects for students to learn, it is not as interactive as when play is involved.

I believe that the primary years for learning is very crucial to children,thus involving play is very beneficial.

Children are naturally curious, and can satisfy these curiosity when they experience it themselves.

One great example of this is the Montessori education created by an Italian physician, Dr. Montessori.

This type of learning is child-centered approached in which children get to experience hands-on learning and a more direct approach.

The Montessori education helps children to develop and learn life skills on their own pace.

From my perspective, a balance of play and the traditional way of learning should integrated in all schools.

One good example is Japan's educational system wherein the fist 6 years of education is directed towards basic academics, learning life skills, discipline and group activities. The next 6 years involve compulsory education taught with specialized education.

While some argue that schools should focus on formal education, this might be because they value traditional learning more.

Ultimately, how a student performs mainly depends of internal and external factors.

Internal; on how the family supports the childrens education and educational demands.

External; on how the childrens environment are conducive to their learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the Montessori example is relevant, the explanation of the Japanese system is slightly tangential as it focuses more on academic structure than the specific role of play. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and introduces new, underdeveloped points about 'internal and external factors' rather than synthesising the main argument. To improve, ensure that every example directly supports the core argument about the necessity of play in primary education.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, though the structure is somewhat fragmented. The use of cohesive devices is present but occasionally mechanical or misused, such as the abrupt transition in the final paragraph where 'Internal' and 'External' are presented as sentence fragments. The logical progression is generally clear, but the connection between the Montessori example and the broader argument could be more explicitly stated. Paragraphing is used, but the final section feels like a list of points rather than a cohesive conclusion. Improving the flow between sentences using a wider variety of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'child-centered' and 'conducive', which are used correctly. However, there are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'should integrated' (should be integrated) and 'fist 6 years' (first 6 years). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band. Focusing on more sophisticated collocations and ensuring accurate word forms will help elevate the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('how the childrens environment are') and missing auxiliary verbs ('should integrated'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of semicolons and commas in the final paragraph. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding pluralisation, verb forms, and consistent punctuation usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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