Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people argue that primary schools are focusing more on formal learning. This can be beneficial for their academic performance, but it can badly affect their mental growth. I am not agreed with this statement and reasons for the same will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence, although education is necessary for every student. Grooming their physical and mental health is equally important. Nowadays, primary schools are focusing more on theoretical knowledge. Students have to memorize lengthy notes which affects their imagination and creativity skills. They spent most of the time in schools studying the books only. The way of teaching is also not so interactive, students are not able to learn practical skills and other problem-solving techniques. Further, they are not able to perform other curricular activities due to the vast syllabus which prevent their physical growth. To elaborate, it even creates a sense of stress in students which badly affects their brain.

Along with the education, playing is equally important for the students. Playing outdoor games will improve their physical health that allows them to stay happy and fit. While playing students learn leadership skills, communication skills and also the importance of sportsmanship which is necessary for their personal growth. The students should not only be provided with the lengthy notes but also with some real-life situations and examples that will help them to sharpen their mind and enhance their creativity. In addition to this, they got some time to relax their fatigued mind, then they can concentrate more efficiently on their studies.

To conclude, in my opinion, students must be given equal time to study and play. Both are very essential for their future growth. The education will help them in building better career, whereas playing will allow them to improve their imagination and creativity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the points about 'creativity' and 'physical growth' are mentioned in both the second and third paragraphs without significant expansion. To reach a higher band, ensure each paragraph introduces distinct, well-supported arguments rather than restating similar concepts. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the initial claim that you 'are not agreed' with the statement is slightly confusing given that you later argue for a balance, which actually aligns with the prompt's premise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence', 'Further', and 'In addition to this' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly misused, such as 'reasons for the same will be discussed', which is a common but unnatural template. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that referencing (e.g., 'this', 'they') consistently points to clear antecedents to improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'theoretical knowledge', 'curricular activities', and 'fatigued'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'I am not agreed with this statement' (should be 'I do not agree') and 'building better career' (should be 'building a better career'). While you attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary, some phrases are slightly repetitive or lack the precision required for a higher band. Focusing on more natural collocations and avoiding over-used academic templates will help elevate your lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are recurring grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of your writing. For example, 'They spent most of the time' (should be 'spend'), 'which prevent their physical growth' (subject-verb agreement error: 'prevents'), and 'The education will help them' (unnecessary article). Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout the essay. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, and try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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