Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People have different views regarding formal learning. Some argue that formal learning is beneficial for pupils, whereas others believe that students should also participate in co-curricular activities. This essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining my viewpoint.

Nowadays, schools are to much focused on formal learning that it has become a challenge for students. Primary schools are burdening their children by giving them academic pressure, and not providing them with the opportunity to explore other openings. However, participating in sports not only sharpens their brain, but it also strengthens their body and relieves all sorts of stress. Furthermore, students can learn several lessons and skills from sports, making them mentally stronger. Learning is as important as spending time in other activities, in addition it gives you the opportunity to have more productive study sessions.

Moreover, students should always create a balance between them. For instance, my friend used to study days and night, and he had pressure from his parents and his teachers as well. The burden of expectation and pressure ruined his mental health, and he was unable to perform up to his potential. He was mentally tired of the books, and wanted to get rid of the pressure of scoring higher grades. However, students in primary schools are being Burdened in the same way, which will lead to the destruction of their peace and health. To be safe from this, schools should host some activities and festivals to let students relax themselves.

In conclusion, although both views have merit, I believe student should participate in sports because this will help them in scoring good grades without mounting pressure on them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. While the personal example of the friend is relevant, the essay would benefit from more generalized academic arguments regarding the cognitive or social benefits of play in primary education. The conclusion is a bit simplistic and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To reach a higher band, ensure that the discussion of 'importance' is more deeply explored with varied examples or theoretical points rather than relying heavily on a single personal anecdote.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'Moreover' are used to link sentences and ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For instance, the use of 'the pressure' and 'the burden' is frequent, which impacts the flow. Paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal structure of the second paragraph could be improved by ensuring that the transition between the benefits of sports and the need for balance is smoother. Overall, the essay is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'co-curricular activities' and 'mounting pressure'. However, there are also some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'to much focused' (should be 'too much') and 'explore other openings' (a slightly unnatural collocation in this context). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'student should participate' (missing article 'a' or plural 'students'), 'let students relax themselves' (unnecessary reflexive pronoun), and 'to much focused' (incorrect adverb usage). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in sentence construction. The majority of sentences are understandable, but the frequency of these small errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would be beneficial.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.