Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Some pupils argue that primary school focus too much on formal learning while some believe that it is the best thing for their children.
It is often argued that primary school focus on formal learning while some believe that is is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school. This is beneficial, I completely agree with this statement. This essay will explain the primary reason for my position.
One primary reason is why I believe this statement is because it is the good thing for their children to learn formal learning in the classroom. Children will be more motivated to learn the new things in the classroom. For Instance the poems will be played in the projector the children will see the different animated things in the projector they will learn more and more. As a result the children become more learn in the classroom. There thinking abilities will be enhance and gain more knowledge.
Another significant factor is that some individuals argue that the primary schools focus more in formal learning. Some parents wonder young children only focus on their studies as compared to the different activities. But if parents only want their children only learn academics it is the bad for the kids they will be no learn in the classroom they will be more disappointment of the studies.
Consequently, I firmly believe that children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. Due to it is beneficial for both the parents and the children.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, but the development is weak and repetitive. While you state your position clearly, the arguments lack depth and logical progression. For example, the paragraph regarding 'poems played in the projector' is vague and does not effectively explain how this relates to the balance between formal learning and play. The ideas are often circular, such as stating that children will 'learn more and more' without providing concrete examples of how play facilitates this. To improve, you should focus on providing specific, well-explained reasons for your opinions rather than repeating the same points in different ways.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by unclear referencing and repetitive phrasing. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'One primary reason' and 'Consequently', they are often followed by sentences that do not clearly connect to the previous point. The introduction is particularly problematic, as it repeats the prompt's premise in a confusing manner. Furthermore, the transition between the idea of formal learning and the importance of play is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. You frequently rely on basic terms like 'good thing', 'bad', and 'learn'. There are also instances of incorrect word choice, such as 'the children become more learn' and 'there thinking abilities will be enhance'. These errors, combined with a lack of variety, make the writing feel simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise vocabulary related to education and child development, and focus on correct word forms, such as using 'enhanced' instead of 'enhance'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'primary school focus' instead of 'focuses'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'they will be no learn'), and misuse of articles and prepositions. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'Due to it is beneficial'. To improve, you need to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that tenses are used consistently throughout the essay.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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