Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some individuals believe that primary schools concentrate more on formal learning. In my opinion, this can have bad effects on children as different types of activities are equally essential for them.
Primary schools focus too much on academic learning sometimes, which is wrong. The main reason is that only classroom learning cannot provide enough practical life learning for children. Primary school is a period of time for children to build a strong foundation so that it can help them to make progress in life, and it cannot be fulfilled without extracurricular activities. Therefore, I believe that every primary school should give equal importance to different activities along with academic learning.
Playing is as crucial as gaining formal knowledge in primary classroom because it has a lot of benefits. Firstly, it helps to gain cognitive development of students. Staying active with various activities such as outdoor or indoor playing, participating in sports competitions makes childrens healthy. Besides, it is important to easily manage the study pressure with some leisure-time activities. For instance, a child who stays active by playing or with free-time activities as well as focuses on study has a good development both physically, and mentally, and it helps them to grow strongly. As a result, academic study does not become a burden to them and they always stay curious to learn.
In conclusion, playing has an important role in every primary student's life along with educational learning in classroom because it develops them physically and mentally. Thus I agree it should always be included in primary schools with formal learning.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that formal learning is 'wrong' and that play aids 'cognitive development,' these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The essay stays relevant to the topic, but the arguments remain at a general level rather than exploring the nuances of primary education. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'Therefore,' 'Firstly,' 'Besides,' and 'In conclusion' to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel slightly repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though the connection between sentences could be smoother to create a more natural progression of thought. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a solid mid-range score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to express your opinions clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'cognitive development,' 'extracurricular activities,' and 'academic learning.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler vocabulary (e.g., 'bad effects,' 'good development,' 'stay active'). To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more precise, academic collocations and less common lexical items. There are no significant errors in word choice that impede communication, but the vocabulary lacks the sophistication and flexibility required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are some grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'it helps to gain cognitive development' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'makes childrens healthy' (a pluralization error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor slips, such as the unnecessary comma in 'mentally, and it helps.' The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your meaning is always conveyed clearly. To improve, focus on refining complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement and pluralization are consistently accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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