Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

With the changing dynamics of the modern world, there has be a noticeable shift in people's attitude towards classroom-based education. A school of thought argue that elementary school focus too much on academic-learning. I agree to some extent with this belief that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, however, its still a crucial part.

To commence with, the most prominent reason for supporting the argument is because too much focus on formal learning can cause a lose of interest. They can loose interest and become stressed because primary school children has a very short attention span and spending long hours on assignments and tests can cause academic burnout. As a result, it can lead to mental exhaustion, anxiety and lose of long-term motivation in future education and studies.

Conversely, an opposing view can also be made that formal learning is also pivotal. This is because the academic focus in primary school can lead to stronger foundation in higher education. Students in primary schools learn essential skills such as reading, writing, spelling and basic mathematics which are necessary in every subject later in their education. This can result in stronger academic background and foundation, ensuring equal opportunities in future.

Moving further, besides all these formal learning in primary school; playing is also indispensable. This is because it educates them about social skills such as communication, cooperation, empathy and conflict resolution. Playing is equivalent to classroom learning, as it improves the physical health of a kid. Hence, it is very important to have a balance between classroom education and playing.

To conclude, although the primary schools focus too much on formal learning, it is crucial to some extent. However, a balance between formal learning and playing is a better way to build a stronger foundation for a primary school kid, as it creates a better future through focused education while also educating them about social skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that formal learning can cause 'academic burnout', this could be further supported with a specific example or a more detailed explanation of how this manifests in a classroom. Similarly, the benefits of play are mentioned, but the argument could be strengthened by explaining how these social skills specifically translate into long-term academic or personal success. Overall, the response covers the requirements well, but would benefit from more depth in the supporting arguments to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Conversely', and 'Moving further' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise (e.g., 'They can loose interest'—it is unclear who 'they' refers to initially). Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow. To improve, ensure that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents and vary your linking phrases to sound more natural.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, including terms like 'dynamics', 'pivotal', 'indispensable', and 'conflict resolution'. There are, however, some recurring errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'lose' instead of 'loss' and 'loose' instead of 'lose'. These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. To reach a higher band, focus on using less common lexical items with greater precision and ensure that your spelling is accurate, particularly with commonly confused words like 'lose/loss'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'there has be' (should be 'there has been'), 'school of thought argue' (should be 'argues'), and 'children has' (should be 'children have'). These errors occur frequently enough to be noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

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