Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern world, the learning system for primary schools has become crucial for students' future. While some individuals argue that schools should follow the formal learning method, whereas others believe playing with learning best way to educate kids. In this essay, I will present my perspectives by giving relevant examples.

To embark with, many civilians think giving education through strict environment can assist students to learn in good way. This traditional method of learning entirely based on student's education rather then other activities. Moreover, this help students to follow strict timetable and discipline throughout their life. It enhance kids self-confidence and time management skills, which are good for their secondary education.

On the other hand, informal education, such as getting education as well as playing together build students' teamwork abilities. Learners can take part in extracurriculum activities which good for their brain growth and body. Furthermore, there are some educational games which assist students to build their interest in education, such as cards games enhance kids counting skills. Story-telling section in the school increase students imagination power. Through this students spend quality time in the school and build good relationship with their teachers and class fellows. As a result, people want to follow this method to teach early education.

Overall, I believe play and learn together extremely crucial for kids to gain knowledge in primary school. Although, formal technique offer discipline and time management to students, whereas other method not only good for learning but also build cognitive skills to students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development is somewhat limited. While you mention benefits like 'teamwork' and 'cognitive skills,' these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. The introduction is a bit repetitive, and the conclusion could more effectively synthesize the arguments presented. Overall, the response is well-focused on the topic, but the depth of explanation is consistent with a mid-range performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Furthermore' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or forced, such as 'To embark with,' which is not a standard idiomatic phrase. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, which helps the reader follow your argument, but the overall management of cohesion needs more variety and naturalness.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cognitive skills,' 'extracurriculum activities,' and 'time management.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'civilians' (which usually refers to non-military people, not citizens or people in general) and 'imagination power' (which should be 'imaginative capacity' or 'creativity'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. You rely on some basic phrasing, and the collocation of words could be improved to sound more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'method of learning entirely based on' (missing 'is'), 'this help students' (subject-verb agreement), and 'formal technique offer' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are errors in sentence construction that occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score in this category.

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