Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some people argue that primary schools place to much focus on formal learning. I largely agree with this because children should have opportunity to play and develop social and practical skills alongside with academic knowledge.
Formal study is important for children because they need to learn the fundamentals skills such as reading writing and mathematics. Having the foundation strong play vital role on children's mind growth. However, only focusing on textbooks, examination and classroom activity can help them to think out of box. Children should also have balance between study and games. They have very limited span and spending long hour in a classroom can make learning less effective. Teachers can teach students by showing pictures and videos or by doing activities so children can learn things very easily.
Children should also participate in sports, dance, singing and drawing. This type of activity can help them with problem-solving ability, refresh mind and strong physical effect. By doing these can help them deal with real-life problems. For example, children are playing football, by playing in team can help them to coordinate with others and follow rules and deal with both success and failure. There real-life things can not be learn in books. The combination between education books and practical activities can help children to know concept more easily.
In conclusion, even though formal study can help children to know foundation of study and learn basic knowledge. However, with the extra activity can help them in growth of both mentally and physically. And they can learn to deal with real-life problems which can help them in future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it expresses a clear position on the focus of primary education and discusses the importance of play. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of social skills and practical learning. However, the development is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument about 'thinking out of the box' is introduced but not fully explored. The conclusion is slightly repetitive and contains a grammatical error that impacts the flow. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced examples and ensure that your arguments are fully extended rather than just stated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the importance of formal study to the benefits of play. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate. For example, the transition 'However, with the extra activity can help them...' in the conclusion is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as 'These real-life things can not be learn in books,' where the antecedent is slightly ambiguous. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'fundamentals skills,' 'academic knowledge,' and 'problem-solving ability.' However, there are instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'strong physical effect' instead of 'physical benefits' or 'mind growth' instead of 'cognitive development.' The range is sufficient for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Focusing on collocations and more academic phrasing would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'place to much focus' (instead of 'too much'), 'the foundation strong play vital role' (missing articles and verb agreement), and 'can not be learn' (incorrect passive voice). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage is needed.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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